cook
member
Reged: 12/14/05
Posts: 1750
Loc: in my underwear
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Saw a t-shirt at the F&F last month
"so an irishman walks out of a bar...don't laugh,it could happen"
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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Quote:
cook said:
Saw a t-shirt at the F&F last month
"so an irishman walks out of a bar...don't laugh,it could happen"
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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Burrhead
member
Reged: 12/14/05
Posts: 3075
Loc: Just north of Bugtussle
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Quote:
SwampFox said:
Quote:
cook said:
Saw a t-shirt at the F&F last month
"so an irishman walks out of a bar...don't laugh,it could happen"
Duck Me Runnin - 19 February 2011  
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Somebody has to walk the point.
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cook
member
Reged: 12/14/05
Posts: 1750
Loc: in my underwear
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DMR is 1 of a kind,like most of ya'll!!
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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Bubba
strangesly aroused
Reged: 12/14/05
Posts: 3828
Loc: Lemmingstan
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God Bless our Troops!
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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Pat was wheeling his half black baby boy in his carriage when he comes across Father O'Malley.
Father peers down in the carriage and proclaims,"Ah Patrick a fine looking son. What is his name?"
Pat replies,"Dancer."
"DANCER!" the priest hollers, "What kind of name is that? Why did you not name him a good Irish name like your own name Patrick or Sean or Micheal?"
Pat replied back,"Well Father what else would you call an Irish Jig?"
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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Bubba
strangesly aroused
Reged: 12/14/05
Posts: 3828
Loc: Lemmingstan
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God Bless our Troops!
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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It was raining hard and a big puddle had formed in front of a local pub.
An old Irish man stood beside the puddle holding a stick with a string on the end and jiggled it up and down in the water.
A curious gentleman asked what he was doing.
'Fishing,' replied the old man.
'Poor old bugger' thought the gentleman, so he invited the old man to have a drink in the pub.
Feeling he should start some conversation while they were sipping their whisky, the gentleman asked,
‘And how many have you caught?
'
'You're the eighth.'
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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Mel
member
Reged: 12/14/05
Posts: 6896
Loc: Excelsior Springs, MO
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Subject: I'll Have What He's Having
A Mormon was seated next to an Irishman on a flight from London. After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken.
The Irishman asked for a whiskey, which was promptly brought and placed before him.
The Flight attendant then asked the Mormon if he would like a drink.
He replied in disgust, "I'd rather be savagely raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my lips.”
The Irishman then handed his drink back to the attendant and said, "Me, too, I didn't know we had a choice."
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Member DU, Delta
Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names - John Kennedy
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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Paddy just got from his mate's funeral. He died after being hit on the head with a tennis ball.
It was a lovely service.
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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Murphy told Quinn that his wife was driving him to drink.
Quinn thinks he's very lucky because his own wife makes him walk.
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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wuchang
spiritual advisor and gatekeeper to the Spirit World
Reged: 12/14/05
Posts: 5206
Loc: uphill
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Must St Paddy's Day
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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Thought I'd bring it to the top in case any of you drunken sobs need the material.
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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A Scotsman and his wife walked past a swanky new restaurant.
"Did you smell that food?" she asked. "It's smells absolutely incredible!"
Being a 'kind-hearted Scotsman', he thought,
"What the heck..., I'll give her a treat!"
So, they walked past it again...
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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The tourist had lost his way on a back road and stopped at the farmhouse to ask if he could be put up for the night. 'Well, we're a mite crowded, since there's already someone in the spare room,' replied the farmer.
'But I guess you can stay if you don't mind sharing the bed with a red haired schoolteacher.'
'Look,' said the tourist, 'I want you to know I'm a gentleman.'
'Well,' mused the farmer, 'as far as I can tell, so is the red haired schoolteacher.'
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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Topsies...
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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An Irish man was approached by a lady of the night.
She asked if he would like to sleep with her for $100.
He says,"I'm not tired but I could use the money."
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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May the wind at your back
not be the result of
the corned beef and cabbage
you had for supper.
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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wuchang
spiritual advisor and gatekeeper to the Spirit World
Reged: 12/14/05
Posts: 5206
Loc: uphill
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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Strong Irishmen don't put others down.
They lift them up and slam them on the ground.
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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All my life I thought I was Irish.
Thanks to Family Tree DNA I know I'm just a drunk.
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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St. Patrick's Day tip: Clean your toilet now.
Tomorrow you may be face down in it.
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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What's Irish and sits on the deck?
Patty O'Furniture.
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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