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In the style of Mel.. A GOOD PUN IS ITS OWN REWORD ~~ Energizer Bunny arrested - charged with battery. A pessimist's blood type is always b-negative. Practice safe eating - always use condiments. A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother. Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death. I used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded. If electricity comes from electrons... does that mean that morality comes from morons? Marriage is the mourning after the knot before. A hangover is the wrath of grapes. Corduroy pillows are making headlines. Is a book on voyeurism a peeping tome? Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play. Banning the bra was a big flop. Sea captains don't like crew cuts. Does the name Pavlov ring a bell? A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. A gossip is someone with a great sense of rumor. Without geometry, life is pointless. When you dream in color, it's a pigment of your imagination. Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion. Reading whilst sunbathing makes you well-red. When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I. |
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Some of those are from Rowan and Martin's Laugh-in, and some from old Marx Bros. films. But funny, very funny! How's yer mom doing Tim? |
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Quote: Don't you ever check your e-mail dude? She got sent home yesterday. I think as much due to insurance as her health! |
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I just checked my email. I got one, but not from you. Some guy in Ghana wants to send me $50 million. So, I got that going for me. Which is nice. |
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Quote: Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness. How about a Fresca? |