"Ya'know," said the Scotsman, "I still prefer the pubs back home.

In Glasgow, there's a little bar called Mc Tavish's. Now the landlord there goes out of his way for the locals that when you buy four drinks he will buy the fifth drink for you."

"Well," said the Englishman, "at my local, The Red Lion, the barman there will buy the third drink after you buy the first two."

"Ahhhh, that's nuthin'," said the Irishman. "Back home in Dublin there's Ryan's Bar. Now the moment ya set foot in the place they buy ya a drink, then another, all the drinks ya like. Then when ya've had enough drinks they'll take ya upstairs and see that ya get laid, and it's all on the house."

The Englishman and Scotsman immediately scorn the Irishman's claims, but he swears every word is true. "Well," said the Englishman, "did
this actually happen to you?"

"Not me, meself, personally, no," said the Irishman. "But it did happen to me sister."