Camouflage training

During camouflage training in Louisiana, a private disguised as a tree trunk makes a sudden move and is spotted by the general.

"You simpleton!" the officer barks. "Don't you know that by jumping the way you did, you could have endangered the lives of the entire company?"

"Yes, sir," the soldier answers. "But, if I may say so, I stood still when a flock of pigeons used me for target practice, and I never moved an inch when a dog peed on my trunk.

But when two squirrels ran up my pants and I heard one say, Let's eat one now and save the other till winter, that did it!"