An Austrian woman is like a good wine.
Best left to mature in a cellar.

I've just bought this Austrian girls diary off ebay. Its not very interesting it just says:

Monday: Stayed in
Tuesday: Stayed in
Wednesday: Stayed in.

Austrian authorities have said that Josef Fritzl has been improving as a father as of late. In fact, police have said that he has "Been coming into his own".

The Austrians have taken their fondness for the Sound of Music too far. They even have their own Von Trapped family.

Just when we thought Madeleine McCann was pixxing the World Hide & Seek Record, some Austrian bird romps home with a 24 year claim!

An Austrian journalist asked a neighbour how long he had known Josef Fritzls ' daughter Alice. “Alice” he replied “Who the f**k is Alice? You mean for 24 years I’ve been living next door to Alice?!”

Official advice on sex education for Austrian teenagers is to keep them in the dark as long as possible.

Austrian authorities are worried by the rapid drop in stag nights after it was learnt they actually do lock up their daughters.

The Austrian interbred Fritzl family have been moved to a safe place, where it is believed they will blend in seamlessly into the local society... Hobart, Tasmania