A guy walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Do you want to play a game? See those two rib-eyes nailed to the ceiling? You get to throw one dart. If you hit one, you get to take them home and I'll give you a free drink."
The man says, "No thanks, the steaks are too high."

Charles Dickens walks into a bar and orders a martini.
The bartender asks, "Olive or twist?"

A man runs into a bar and asks the barkeep, "Give me ten shots of your best whisky."
The bartender sets up the ten glasses.
The man starts drinking them as quickly as the bartender serves them.
The bartender asks, "Why are you drinking so fast?"
"You'd drink fast too, if you had what I have." The bartender asks,
"What do you have?"
"Seventy cents."

A professor walks into a bar and orders a double martinous.
The bartender says, "you mean a double martini?"
The professor says, "If I want more than one I'll ask for it."

A photon walks into a bar.
The bartender asks, "What can I get you."
The photon answers, "Nothing, I'm traveling light."