How to speak about WOMEN and be politically correct:

1) She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN"
2) She is not a "SCREAMER" or a "MOANER" - She is "VOCALLY APPRECITIVE"
3) She is not "EASY" - She is "HORAZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE"
4) She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" - She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY"
5) She Has not "BEEN AROUND" - She is a "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION"
6) She is not an "AIRHEAD" - She is "REALITY IMPAIRED"
7) She does not get "DRUNK" or "TIPSY" - She gets "CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED"
8) She does not have "BREAST IMPLANTS" - She is "MEDICALLY ENHANCED"
9) She does not "NAG" - She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE"
10)She is not a "TRAMP" - She is "SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED"
11)She does not have "MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS" - She is "PECTORALLY SUPERIOR"
12)She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" - She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER"

How to speak about MEN and be politically correct:

1) He does not have a "BEER GUT" - He has developed a "LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY"
2) He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN"
3) He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" - He "INVESITGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS"
4) He is not "BALDING" - He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION"
5) He is not a "CRADLE ROBBER" - He prefers " GENERATIONAL DEFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS"
6) He does not get "FALLING DOWN DRUNK" - He becomes "ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL"
7) He does not have his "HEAD UP HIS ASS" - He developes a case of "RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION"
8) He is not a "MALE CHAUVINIST PIG" - He has "SWINE EMPATHY"
9) He is not afraid of "COMMITMENT" - He has "MARRIAGE DEFICT DISORDER"
10)He is not "HORNY" - He is "SEXUALLY FOCUSED"
11)It is not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his pants - It's "REAR CLEAVAGE"