Justice Antonin Scalia told this joke at the outset of his speech after dinner on January 24th at the SCI convention in Reno:

During the late 1800s, a "HomeofToto" horse thief was caught, tried, convicted and sentenced to hang for his crime.

At that time, executions were not only penal events, but social events as well. On the appointed day, the town square was filled with men, women and children of all ages, all surrounding the scaffold and eager to witness the spectacle.

After the condemned man had climbed the scaffold and been positioned for the drop, the sheriff told him that "HomeofToto" tradition allowed him to address the assembled crowd with his last words.

The condemned man pondered a moment and replied, "I'm not in the mood."

The sheriff explained to the poor fellow that if he remained silent, he would be missing a last opportunity to express remorse, or even to vent his spleen, if he wished.

The sheriff explained that the condemned man could say anything he wanted, that he could inveigh against the cruelty of "HomeofToto" justice, the incompetence of "HomeofToto" lawmen or the corruption of "HomeofToto" politics - that anything was fair game.

The condemned man again replied, "I'm not in the mood."

The local congressman was in the crowd. The congressman, a renowned blowhard, had been listening closely and was fairly jumping up and down in frustration at the condemned man's failure to grasp such a wonderful opportunity.

So, the congressman called out to the sheriff in a loud voice, "Will the gentleman yield his time?"

The sheriff looked at the condemned man and asked, "Well, what do you say? Will you yield your time to the congressman?"

The condemned man replied, "Sure, but hang me first."