Dog Chit Soup

By Poletax

Yeppers,you read that right,dawg chitt soup.
Our story begins with some overstuffed galoot just letting the dawgs out onto the patio when they wanted out.Usually the galoot will go with them,on out to the grassy backyard.
Well thru lazyness and the rain and all,our galoot just put up with the dawg chitt out on the brick patio.
The first dry sunny day,TOWMBO got tired of waiting on the galoot to clean that chitt up.
She proceeded to use her store bought poop-scooper and busied herself with putting the unwanted tirds and other flecks of chitt into a big coffee can.
Said can was left on a lil table out by the back gate.
Well, it took to rainin some more Thursday and Friday round here.Wouldn't ya know there was no lid on the coffee can and ,well,between the chitt and the rain,the can was darn near full.
TOWMBO proceeded to snap the lid onto the pickling mix after her nasty discovery
Tuesday is trash day and she was gonna set it out in the alley.
Well,this Saturday Morning I was blessed by a visit from an Azz from up the alley.
I was out dickin around,sneaking a smoke and John started talking to me from the alley.I let him in the back gate to point out stuff I was doing in the yard to make it better than his.
He spotted the can on the table and picked it up.
Before I could say a word,he felt the weight and curiousity got the best of him.
John pulled the lid off of Pandoras Box.
All Hell took off to a running start.
The odor was so stout that I could damn near see it.
Of course the revulsion John was exibiting was expected.
What happened next wadn't.
John dropped this WMD and it hit the edge of the lil table.
Most of the contents ejected onto Johns shirt and jeans.I near pissed meself.
My neighbors mouth had a white ring around it.He looked to be immersed into shock.He was speechless and I was too.I've never seen nothing like that and I'd seen some peculiar things.
I offered to turn the garden hose on him,but he gave me a look like I run over his dawg.
He went stomping off up the alley.Maybe he won't be back for awhile.