A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl.
Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well until one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him.The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked him the following questions:

Have you any grounds?
Yes, an acre and half and nice little home.
No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?
It made of concrete.
I don't think you understand. Does either of you have a real grudge?
No, we have carport, and not need one.
I mean. What are your relations like?
All my relations still in Poland.
Is there any infidelity in your marriage?
We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player.
Does your wife beat you up?
No, I always up before her.
Is your wife a nagger?
No, she white.
Why do you want this divorce?
She going to kill me.
What makes you think that?
I got proof.
What kind of proof?
She going to poison me.. She buy a bottle at drugstore and put on shelf in bathroom.
I can read, and it say: 'Polish Remover.'