Dr. Eldon Bishop of Tampa, Florida has been engaged in an exciting area of medical research for years now. He has developed a unique protein/amino acid combination that disables the genes that cause aging. This compound is being tested on porpoises, and it has been observed to completely stop and even reverse the effects of old age in those mammals. Human testing is scheduled to follow within a few years.

This miraculous compound is cultured in the live eggs of seagulls - and a problem arose because of last month's oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico. It was felt that seagull eggs that had possibly been exposed to crude oil should not be used for this research.

Last week, Dr. Bishop and a colleague traveled to California, where they captured several breeding pairs of seagulls. As they were driving with the caged birds in a van to Florida, it was found that they had failed to obtain the necessary Federal permits to capture and transport protected wildlife.

Dr. Bishop has been arrested by the FBI for transporting gulls illegally across state lines for immortal porpoises.