An elderly Scottish Jew decides to take it a little easier and take up golf. So he puts his name down at the local club. After a week he receives a message that his application has been turned down. So he goes down to the club to enquire why.

Secretary: "You are aware that this is a Scottish golf club?"

Scot: "Aye, but I am as Scottish as you are, Jock."

Secretary: "This means that on formal occasions we wear kilts."

Scot: "Aye, so do I."

Secretary: "You are aware, that we wear nothing under our kilts?"

Scot: "Aye, neither do I."

Secretary: "But you are a Jew?"

Scot: "Aye, I be that."

Secretary: "So, you are circumcised?"

Scot: "Aye, I be that too."

Secretary: "I am terribly sorry, but the members just would not feel comfortable with that."

Scot: "Ach, away wi' ye, man. I know that you have to be a Protestant to march with the Orangemen. And I know that you have to be a Catholic to become a Knight of Columbus. But this is the first time I heard that you have to be a complete prick to join a golf club."