I started in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.

Next I tried working in a muffler factory, but that was exhausting.

I wanted to be a barber, but I just couldn't cut it.

Then I attempted to be a deli worker. But any way I sliced it, I couldn't cut the mustard. (It's a good thing I didn't cut the cheese...)

My best job was being a musician, but eventually I found I wasn't note worthy.

Next was a job in a shoe factory; I tried, but I just didn't fit in.

I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.

I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining.

I finally got a job as a historian, until I realized there was no future in it.

My latest job is working at a coffee shop. It's kind of boring; every day is the same old grind.