The FBI have discovered how to weave Muslim prayer mats out of plastic explosives ....... Apparently prophets are going through the roof!!

The Red Cross have just knocked at our door and ask if we could help towards the floods in Iraq and Pakistan. I said we would love to, but our hose only reaches to the bottom of the garden.

I just put a deposit down on a brand new Porsche & mentioned it on Facebook. I said, "I can't wait for the new 911 to arrive!"

Next thing I know 4000 f....g Muslims have added me as a Facebook Friend!!

An Iraqi co-worker told me he's shagging his girlfriend and her twin.

Impressed, I asked "How can you tell them apart?"

He said "Her brother's got a moustache."