Blogger Ashfor Evans shares the heartwarming and horrifying story about a sweet gift from her son that turned sour very fast. Her story begins as she arrives home late after a delayed flight on a business trip. It was one of those truly rare occasions where she had the entire house to herself. Her husband had just left for a fishing trip and all of their children were at a slumber party with friends.

After dropping off her suitcase in the bedroom, she stepped into the bathroom and her hilarious story begins,

When I entered the bathroom I was greeted by a sweet citrus smell. The entire bathroom seemed to have been scrubbed just before my arrival. I looked around astonished that my husband would think to clean the house just before my arrival (God knows how much I hate returning to a messy house) and that’s when I saw it.

One of the children’s cereal bowls sitting on the shelf with what seemed to be an old bar of soap sitting in it. I didn’t remember buying grapefruit scented soap but it could’ve been from years ago. They have a tendency to dig up things long forgotten and put them on display for me.

It looked just like a bar of soap looks years after its prime. You know when it’s all dried up and misshapen? But it smelled delicious.

I picked it up and held it to my nose breathing the scent in. The smell of fresh grapefruit in a perfectly silent house is just short of heaven I believe.

The thing was I just couldn’t quite place when I had bought fancy soap and just exactly where they had found it. Throughout the night I returned several times to inhale it’s tropical scent. In between making dinner and washing my face. I never bothered to wash my hands after fondling it because it was, afterall, just soap.

The next morning the spell had been broken as I left to collect all the children and return to my life of chaos and macaroni and cheese- leaving my grapefruit scented silence as a memory. It wasn’t long after we returned when Eeny emerged from the guest bathroom pressing the bar to her lips and breathing deeply saying “This is my favorite. I love the way this smells.”

“I know!” I wholeheartedly agreed. “What IS that? Where did you guys get that?” I asked.

“Meeny found it in the boys bathroom at Tae Kwon Do and brought it home,” she happily replied.

And that’s when it hit me. It wasn’t some upscale boutique $15 soap I had been caressing for the last 12 hours. It was a urinal cake.

That’s right, catch your breath. An f-ing urinal cake. A URINAL CAKE!!!! A urinal cake from the public gym I take my 5 year old for Tae Kwon Do three times a week. A urinal cake that has been peed on by at least 1000 strange little boys that I just held against my cheek!!!!!

With this realization I screamed and jerked it from her hands flinging it into the trashcan.

“NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!” she cried bursting into tears. “It’s my FAVORITE!!!!!”

“WASH YOUR HANDS, YOUR FACE, OH GOD WASH EVERYTHING!!!!!!” I screamed back.

And everything went black.

When I came to I realized I had only two options. As I went through my memory and all the things I had touched [eaten] since touching the vile thing I realized that in combination with all the things my kids had touched we really didn’t have much of a choice. I mean Tae Kwon Do is on Wednesdays and this was now Saturday!!!! This THING has touched basically everything in my house at this point.

So clearly our options were 1. Burn the house to the ground or 2. Pretend like it never happened and drink a bottle of wine [or two]. I’ll leave you guessing as to which I chose.

But either way here’s to kids being the most disgusting creatures ever to crawl the face of the earth and to teaching us some humility in the process.

Fortunately she was able to laugh about it later. As the saying goes, if something seems too good to be true, it probably is!

Like and share this story if you’re still laughing. Please leave a comment on Facebook and let us know if you’ve ever been in a similar situation!