Some of these are old, some are new. You sort them out.
IIFID
Q: How do you embarrass an archeologist?
A: Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.

Q: What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
A: Wiped his ass.

Q: How can you tell if your wife is dead?
A: The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.

Q: What did the gynecologist and the pizza delivery man have in common?
A: They both get to smell the goods but neither one of them can eat it.

Q: What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose?
A: Full.

Q: What's the difference between oral sex & anal sex?
A: Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak.

Q: How is pubic hair like parsley?
A: You push it to the side before you start eating.

Q: If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have you
done wrong?
A: Made her chain too long.

Q: How is a woman like a condom?
A: Both spend more time in your wallet than on your tallywacker.

Q: What is the difference between a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken?
A: By the time you're finished with the breast and thighs, all you have left
is the greasy box to put your bone in.

Q: How are tornadoes and marriage alike?
A: They both begin with a lot of sucking and blowing, and in the end you
lose your house.

Q: What are three words you dread the most while making love?
A: "Honey, I'm home."

Q: When is a pixie not a pixie?
A: When he's got his head up a fairy's skirt, then he's a goblin'.

Q: Which of the following doesn't belong: wife, meat, eggs, ******* ?
A: The blow job. You can beat your wife, your eggs, or your meat; but you
just can't beat a blow job.

Q: If tennis players get tennis elbow, what do gynecologists get?
A: Tunnel vision.

Q: What do they call kids born in whorehouses?
A: Brothel sprouts.

Q: What do tofu and a dildo have in common?
A: They're both meat substitutes.

Q: Who is the most popular man in a nudist colony?
A: The guy who can carry two pitchers of beer and a foot of onion rings!

Q: Who is the most popular girl in a nudist colony?
A: The girl who can eat the last onion ring.

Q: How do you recognize a blind man in a nudist colony?
A: Its not hard.

Q: What do you call a homosexual dinosaur?
A: A Megasorarse!

Q: What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
A: A Lickalotapuss!

Q: What do you call a rabbit with a bent tallywacker?
A: Fugs Funny!