Why did man invent alcohol?
So ugly women could have sex too.

Why are electric trains like women's breasts?
They were designed for kids, but the father usually winds up playing with them.

What did the banana say to the vibrator?
"I don't know why you're shaking, she's gonna eat me!"

How come Mike Tyson's eyes water during sex?
Mace.

What happens if you put the Energizer Bunny's
batteries in backwards?
He keeps coming, and coming, and coming..........

How did the Dairy Queen become pregnant?
Cause the Burger King forgot to cover his Whopper.

How do you tell that you have a high sperm count?
Your girlfriend has to chew before she swallows.

What do soy beans and vibrators have in common?
They are both meat substitutes.

What is the difference between erotic sex and freaky sex?
During erotic sex you use a feather, during freaky sex you use the whole damn chicken.

What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?
Hold on to your nuts, this is going to be one hell of a *******!"

What is the difference between a frog and a horny toad?
The frog says "ribbit, ribbit", and the horny toad
says "rub-it, rub-it".

What do a pizza delivery guy and a gynecologist have in common?
They can both smell it, but they can't eat it.