One warm spring evening, an elderly gentleman, looking to be at least 90, strolls into the local cat house and tells the piano player he would like to speak with the proprietor of this fine establishment. Off goes the piano player and shortly the house madame appears and asks the old man how she can be of service.
The gentleman informs her he would like to purchase the services of her finest young lady for the evening.
So they haggle for a little while before settling on a fair price and the madame tells him to go to the second floor, last door on the right and make himself comfortable, the young lady will join him shortly.
The old boy soon finds the room and settles in, relaxing and making himself a drink. Shortly as the madame promised, the beautiful young lady enters and quickly hops onto the bed and bekons the the man to join her.
The old man undresses, sits on the bed and pull a couple of items from his pants pocket.
The young lady sees that he has a condom, nothing new here, and a large wad of cotton. He dons the condom and the quickly places cotton in his ears and in his nostrils.
Of course she's curious so she asks the purpose of the cotton.
He replies" Well girlie, I been around this world a half adozen times and seen and done alot, but the only two things I never could stand was the smell of burning rubber and a woman screaming"