Sandy was delivering his lecture to the tourists as he drove the tour bus through central Scotland.

" Here we hammered the English at Bannockburn. Aye! they were no match for we Scots!"

" Here we defeated the murderous redcoats!"

" Here we upheld the honor of Scotland and routed the cowardly English!"

Finally, an English tourist, somewhat upset by this slightly one sided narrative of history, spoke up and asked: " Surely the English won some fights with the Scots?"

Sandy glares and says: " Not while I'm driving this bus!"