How Many Church Members Does It Take to Change a Light Bulb?

Charismatic: Only 1 - Hands are already in the air.

Pentecostal: 10 - One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.

Presbyterians: None - Lights will go on and off at predetermined times.

Baptists: At least 15 - One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad and fried chicken.

Episcopalians: 3 - One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks, and one to talk about how much better the old one was.

Unitarians: We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, you are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb for the next Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, 3-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.

Methodists: Undetermined - Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Bring a bulb of your choice to the Sunday lighting service and a covered dish to pass.

Nazarene: 6 - One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy.

Lutherans: None - Lutherans don't believe in change.

Neo-evangelical: No one knows. They cannot tell the difference between light and darkness.

TV evangelists: One - But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation.

Fundamentalists: ONLY ONE - because any more would be compromise and ecumenical.

Arminians: One - but first the bulb must want to be changed.

Hyper-Calvinists: None - if God wants to change that light-bulb, He'll do it without your help!

Open Theists: unknown - as even God was not aware that the light bulb had burned out, much less that it needed changing.

Seventh Day Adventists: Just one - as long as it isn't Saturday.

Amish: What?s a light bulb?