Hillary Clinton said that her childhood dream was to be an Olympic athlete, but she was not athletic enough. She said she wanted to be an astronaut, but at the time they didn't take women. She said she wanted to go into medicine, but hospitals made her woozy. Should she be telling people this story? I mean she's basically saying she wants to be president because she can't do anything else." - Jay Leno

Did you know Bill and Hillary Clinton were born under the same sign?

Know what sign? 'For Sale.'" - Jay Leno

"A student from the University of Washington has sold his soul on eBay for $400. He's a law student, so he probably doesn't need it, but still, that's not very much. Today, Hillary Clinton said, 'Hey, at least I got some furniture and a Senate seat for mine." - Jay Leno

"Hillary Clinton said today that she wants legislation to allow all ex-felons to vote. See, this way all the Clinton's former business partners can vote for her in 2008." - Jay Leno

"Well, the big story -- Hillary Clinton will be running for president in 2008. You know why I think she's running? I think she finally wants to see what it's like to sleep in the president's bed." - Jay Leno

"Top Democrats have mixed feelings about Sen. Hillary Clinton running for president. Apparently, some Democrats don't like the idea, while others hate it" - Conan O'Brien

"In a fiery speech this weekend, Hillary Clinton wondered why President Bush can't find the tallest man in Afghanistan. Probably for the same reason she couldn't find the fattest intern under the desk." - Jay Leno

"Former President Bill Clinton said that if his wife, Hillary, is elected president, he will do whatever she wants. You know Bill Clinton -- when he makes a vow to Hillary, you can take that to the bank."

- Jay Leno

"Hillary Clinton said today that she didn't know her husband, Bill Clinton, was giving the Arabs advice on the port deal while she was ruling against it. Can you believe that? Hillary was clueless about a major political event. You know what that means. She could really be the next president of the United States." - Jay Leno