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Nay. Cathartic. I drove home today with this blasting out my Harmon Kardon's. Yeah. I finally had tears running down my face, instead of pent up anger at the system, instead of burying myself in work. Toronto, in the late 70's my ex and I were living in the city, and didn't have any money, so we used to take my ex's 750 Norton to Varsity Stadium by the lake to watch The Argos scrimmages. Their DB got hurt. As was the standard back then with rookies, they got my husband a better paying day job, but no club money to fill in. He was only 5'7", but fast, and wore a 46 jacket. I love men that I can look directly in their eyes. He got hurt playing football often. He got hurt playing hockey often. He medicated often. Then, he couldn't look me in the eyes any longer. So, I stuffed everything, loved him unconditionally and then left, later in the 80's. I've never had this reaction to any loss before, and it has nothing to do with any of you. There was no memorial, no outlet, for someone who didn't treat other people well, but even my parents were crying, so I knew there was something wrong about the way I was treating this. After 5 1/2 months, I thought I was going to break in two. So thanks, I know there are young minds around here, with big aspirations, and I hope they all come true. Don't be deterred. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aNX96HbQcVM&list=RDaNX96HbQcVM&start_radio=1 |