SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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Sarah Palin does not have 5 kids, she actually has 7. Their names are Track, Bristol, Willow, Piper, Trig, Chuck Norris, and Jack Bauer.
The Northern Lights are really just the reflection from Sarah Palin's eyes.
The Russians sold Alaska to America because Sarah Palin would not submit to autocracy.
The Arctic Circle runs through Alaska so the Sun can have some relief from Sarah Palin's bright glare.
Sarah Palin is allowed first dibs on Alaskan wolfpack kills.
Sarah Palin is so pro-life that she personally hog-tied two reps from Planned Parenthood who came knocking at her door.
It's not raining in DC. Those are God's tears of joy that McCain picked Sarah Palin.
Sarah Palin's hotness is the largest single contributor to melting polar ice caps.
Sarah Palin is the "other" whom Yoda spoke about.
Sarah Palin's presence in the lower 48 means the Arctic ice cap can finally return.
Sarah Palin fired Jack Bauer because he was too soft in dealing with terrorists.
Sarah Palin's pageant career ended early so other women could have a chance.
Sarah Palin's son Track is going to Iraq after the Surge, because a Palin during the Surge would have been unfair.
Sarah Palin wears glasses lest her uncontrollable optic blasts slaughter everyone. (X-Men reference)
Sarah Palin actually has Big Foot in her freezer.
Sarah Palin gave a speech in Texas after her water broke before flying home to Alaska to give birth. (Actually true)
Sarah Palin doesn't need a gun to hunt. She has been known to throw a bullet through an adult bull elk.
Sarah Palin once spilled coffee on Joe Biden & one of his $400 ties from Pink.
Sarah Palin keeps her hair in a beehive to hide her ninja weaponry.
Sarah Palin will personally open a homemade can of whoopa** on Ahmadinejad, Putin, and Chavez as soon as she's done making mooseburgers for her kids.
A grizzly bear once tried to stare down Sarah Palin. Once.
Sarah Palin will send Joe Biden a pre-debate cheat sheet. The sheet will have tips on defending against Kung [beeep] Death Grip.
Sarah Palin became governor because five children left her with too much spare energy.
Sarah Palin will give birth to the man who will lead humanity's war against the machines. (Terminator reference)
Three of Sarah Palin's 5 kids came out sideways and she never flinched.
Global Warming doesn't kill polar bears. Sarah Palin does. Generally with her bare hands.
Sarah Palin was the original "Deadliest Catch."
Sarah Palin paid her way through school by hunting for Kodiak pelts with a slingshot.
Alaska is the 49th state solely because they knew even in 1959 that Sarah Palin never finishes last.
Chuck Norris wishes he was Sarah Palin trapped in a man's body.
Sarah Palin got Tom Brady pregnant, and then left him.
Sarah Palin killed and ate the Grizzly Man.
Sarah Palin killed and ate Frank Murkowski.
Sarah Palin once won the Iditarod without any dogs. She simply willed the sled to victory.
Sarah Palin wears half the makeup that John Edwards wears and still looks like twice the woman he does.
Sarah Palin once guided Santa's sleigh through an Alaskan blizzard with the light from her smile.
Sarah Palin fishes salmon by convincing them it's in their interest to jump into the boat
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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Palin bumper sticker ideas...
"I cling to my guns when I'm hunting moose and cling to my religion when I'm taking care of my family."
“I can play basketball. Can Barack Obama hunt?"
"Hey, Hillary! How you like THEM apples!"
Reagan is back, and this time he’s a woman.
Hanging out with terrorists is not experience!!
America still makes ‘em like we used to.
Gov. Palin: The American Maggie Thacher!
McCain Palin, Obama flailin’
McCain-Palin, An American team without question!
President McCain will have Air Force One...
Vice President Palin will have Barracuda One!
Ronaldus Feminus!
Our VP is better than your President
Obama wants to raise taxes and kill babies.
Palin wants to raise babies and kill taxes.
McCain/Palin - From Tucson to the Yukon
Sarah Palin - Making Clinton sweep up the Glass!
Palin was hunting moose in the snow, while
Obama was snorting snow up his nose.
Sarah Palin ... She’s all lady. AND more of a man than those other guys!
“The Hands That Rocked The Cradle Will Rule The Country”
"McCain/Palin: The Only Way To Prevent Obamanation!”
“Some days you’re Palin, some days you’re the moose.”
McCain-Palin: Obama derailin'
“Hey Obama, don’t mess with this Momma!”
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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Hop
Reged: 12/16/06
Posts: 1801
Loc: Now that's a 10-2 Code
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I would do things to her I would not do to Farm Animals!
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Visit us at: http://flocked-N-Locked.com
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Pitbull
FEtch's Son in Law
Reged: 12/14/05
Posts: 3371
Loc: Land of the Pheasants!!
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Quote:
Hop said:
I would do things to her I would not do to Farm Animals!
That can't be much   
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Cubs in 2010 It will be Lou's Year!!!!!!
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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Forsythian
member
Reged: 12/14/05
Posts: 435
Loc: Nether Regions
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Sweep the leg.
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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Quit spanking your moose...
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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Kit
member
Reged: 12/14/05
Posts: 2188
Loc: Columbia, MO
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I would have her speaking in tongues...
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"If you're the only one who shits in something, you own it. Remember that."
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67Firebird
Former political advocate
Reged: 12/14/05
Posts: 9172
Loc: Russellville, Mo
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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Do I have a place for that. 
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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Forsythian
member
Reged: 12/14/05
Posts: 435
Loc: Nether Regions
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Todd Palin's secret service code name is "driller" 
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Sweep the leg.
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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Err... Ahhh.... oh yea, the oil thing. 
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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All the pitbulls are wearing it...
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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Video: Democratic War Room.
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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--------------------
"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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--------------------
"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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|
--------------------
"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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--------------------
"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
|
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--------------------
"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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WARNING!!!
If you get an e-mail with "Nude Photos of Sarah Palin" in the subject line, do not open it. It contains a virus.
If you get an e-mail with "Nude Photos of Hillary Clinton" in the subject line, do not open it. It contains nude photos of Hillary Clinton.
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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MB2
member
Reged: 12/14/05
Posts: 5722
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MB2
member
Reged: 12/14/05
Posts: 5722
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MB2
member
Reged: 12/14/05
Posts: 5722
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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So, Sarah Palin's advisors decide that it is time for her to meet a bunch of serious world leaders. They head to Europe, where, first up, she has an appointment with the Pope.
The Pope and some of his Cardinals invite her for a boat ride on the Tiber. As they are sitting in the gondola talking, a wind starts up and blows the Pope's hat into the water.
Palin looks around and realizes that no one is going to do anything about it, so she calmy rises, takes off her her high heels, and steps off the side of the boat. Instead of diving into the water, however, she walks across it, to the hat, picks it up and walks back across the water to the boat. She climbs in, hands the Pope his hat and continues discussing whatever it was they had been talking about.
The Cardinals are open mouthed in astonishment at what they have just seen. The news media, in nearby boats are busy discussing among themselves how to report it.
Headlines the next day at the New York Times, the Washington Post and the networks all blare: "New Revelation: Sarah Palin Can't Swim."
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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Mel
member
Reged: 12/14/05
Posts: 6896
Loc: Excelsior Springs, MO
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*Subject:* Socialist View
Sarah Palin is invited to meet with the Pope while he is vacationing in Venice. The liberal press reluctantly watches the semi-private audience, hoping they will be able to allot minimal coverage, if any.
The Pope asks Governor Palin to join him on a Gondola ride through the canals of Venice.
They're admiring the sights and agreeing on moral issues when, all of a sudden, the Pope's hat (zucchetto) blows off his head and out into the water.
The gondolier starts to reach for the Pontiff's cap with his pole, but this move threatens to overturn the floating craft.
Sarah waves the tour guide off, saying, "Wait, wait. I'll take care of this. Don't worry."
She steps off the gondola onto the surface of the water and walks out to the Pope's hat, bends over and picks it up. She walks back across the water to the gondola and steps aboard.
She hands the hat to the Pope amid stunned silence.
The next morning the topic of conversation among Democrats in Congress, CBS News, NBC News, ABC News, PBS, CNN, the New York Times and nearly all the remaining print media, MSNBC, Hollywood celebrities, and most of the people in France and Germany is:
Palin Can't Swim."
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Member DU, Delta
Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names - John Kennedy
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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Uhh....
Did you read the previous post? 
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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Mel
member
Reged: 12/14/05
Posts: 6896
Loc: Excelsior Springs, MO
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Nope. Guess this makes it twice as funny, huh?
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Member DU, Delta
Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names - John Kennedy
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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Video: THe Wizard Of Washington
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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MB2
member
Reged: 12/14/05
Posts: 5722
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http://news.sympatico.msn.ctv.ca/abc/hom...in_prank_081101
At another point in the chat, the impersonator says in a fake Parisian accent that the pair might use a helicopter to go hunting.
"We should go hunting together," replies Palin. "We can have a lot of fun together while we're getting work done. We could kill two birds with one stone."
But when the fake Sarkozy makes a joke that they shouldn't extend the invitation to vice-president Dick Cheney, Palin says, "I'll be a careful shot." 
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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The rest of the world cannot understand how after bitter electioncampaigns, American politicians can return to reality. For instance,Sarah Palin has invited to her great state of Alaska the men whodefeated her, Barack Obama and Joe Biden. She has provided a moose hunting trip for their enjoyment and has hiredtwo other prominent men to assist them.Dick Cheney will instruct them in safe gun handling and Ted Kennedy willdrive them back to their cabins in the evening. What a gal, that Sarah is such a sport and thinks of everything.
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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