SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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Chelsea Clinton returned home from a date.
Her mother Hillary asked her if she had a good time.
Chelsea answered she had a wonderful time.
Hillary asked, "You didn't have sex did you?"
Chelsea: "Not according to Dad."
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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Freshmen college students were assigned to read 2 books, "Titanic" & "My Life" by Bill Clinton. One smart-ass student turned in the following book report, with the proposition that they were nearly identical stories! His cool professor gave him an A+ for this report:
Titanic:..... $29.99
Clinton:.....$29.99
Titanic:..... Over 3 hours to read
Clinton:..... Over 3 hours to read
Titanic:..... The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and
subsequent catastrophe.
Clinton:..... The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and
subsequent catastrophe.
Titanic:..... Jack is a starving artist.;
Clinton:..... Bill is a bullshit artist.
Titanic:..... In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar.
Clinton:..... Ditto for Bill.
Titanic:..... During ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined.
Clinton:..... Ditto for Monica.
Titanic:..... Jack teaches Rose to spit.
Clinton:..... Let's not go there.
Titanic:..... Rose gets to keep her jewelry.
Clinton:..... Monica's forced to return her gifts.
Titanic:.... Rose remembers Jack for the rest of her life.
Clinton:..... Clinton doesn't remember Jack.
Titanic:..... Rose goes down on a vessel full of seamen.
Clinton:..... Monica...ooh, let's not go there, either.
Titanic:..... Jack surrenders to an icy death.
Clinton:..... Bill goes home to Hillary...basically the same fate
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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Did you know that if Hillary Clinton becomes President she is considering changing the Democratic seal from a donkey to a condom...
because it represents inflation, halts production, and gives you a sense of security while you are being screwed?
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
|
|
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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Mel
member
Reged: 12/14/05
Posts: 6896
Loc: Excelsior Springs, MO
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An airplane was about to crash. There were 5 passengers on board, but only 4 parachutes. The 1st passenger said, I am Kobe Bryant, the best NBA basketball player. The Lakers need me, and I can't afford to die. So he took the 1st pack and left the plane. The 2nd passenger, Hillary Clinton said, I am the wife of a former U.S. President, a NY State Senator and a potential future president. And I am the smartest woman in American history, so America 's people don't want me to die. The 3rd passenger, Ted Kennedy said I am a US Senator, the democratic party needs me and my liver still has some good years left. So he grabbed the pack next to him and jumped. The 4th passenger, Billy Graham, said to the 5th passenger, a 10 year old schoolgirl, I am old and frail and don't have many years left, and as a Christian I will sacrifice my life and let you have the last parachute. The girl said, That's okay. There's a parachute left for you. America 's smartest woman took my school bag.
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Member DU, Delta
Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names - John Kennedy
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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HOW TO START EACH DAY WITH A POSITIVE OUTLOOK
1. Open a new file folder in your computer.
2. Name it "Hillary Rodham Clinton"
3. Send it to the trash.
4. Click "Empty the trash."
5. Your PC will ask you, "Do you really want to get rid of "Hillary Rodham Clinton?"
6. Firmly Click "Yes."
7. Feel better.
PS: Next week you can do Nancy Pelosi
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
|
SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
|
|
--------------------
"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
|
SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
|
|
--------------------
"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
|
SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
|
|
--------------------
"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
|
SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
|
|
--------------------
"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
|
SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
|
|
--------------------
"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
|
SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
|
|
--------------------
"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
|
SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
|
|
--------------------
"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
|
SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
|
|
--------------------
"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
|
SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
|
|
--------------------
"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
|
SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
|
|
--------------------
"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
|
SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
|
|
--------------------
"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
|
SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
|
|
--------------------
"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
|
Mel
member
Reged: 12/14/05
Posts: 6896
Loc: Excelsior Springs, MO
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|
Snow White
One day, the seven dwarfs left to go work in the mine.
Snow White stayed home to prepare lunch.
When she arrived at the mine with the lunch, she saw that there had been a terrible cave in.
Tearfully, and fearing the worst, Snow White began calling out, hoping against hope that some of the dwarfs had survived.
"Hello, hello," she called "Can anyone hear me? Hello"
For quite a while there was no answer.
Losing hope, Snow White called again, "Hello.
Is anyone down there?"
Just as she was about to give up all hope, there came a faint voice from deep in the mine.
The voice said, "Vote for Hillary. Vote for Hillary."
Snow White, somewhat relieved screamed out, "Oh, thank God. Dopey is still alive."
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Member DU, Delta
Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names - John Kennedy
|
SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
|
|
--------------------
"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
|
SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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|
The Lowell (Mass.) Sun carries a paid obit for Athanasia "Ethel" Eliopoulos, the first woman to head a Social Security district office, who died Friday at 94. According to her obit:
With her passing, Ethel's final wish was ultimately granted when she did not have to see Hillary Clinton become president.
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
|
SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
|
|
--------------------
"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
|
SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
|
|
The Hillary Show
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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|
Snow White and the 7 Dwarfs are busy fixing up their humble abode. The 7 Dwarfs are out back working in the bottom of the water well.
That afternoon, Snow White is preparing dinner for the evening when she hears a very loud crash out back and knows immediately that the well has collapsed. She runs out the door to see if anyone is alive.
Leaning over the well, she yells down ?hello? hoping that somebody will respond. She hears nothing and yells again, ?say something if you can hear me!?
A faint voice from the bottom of the well comes back, ?vote for Hillary.?
Snow White is quite relieved and says, ?Oh thank goodness! At least Dopey survived!?
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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