IIFID
Bond....Timmy Bond
Reged: 12/15/05
Posts: 8067
Loc: Nipawin, Saskatchewan
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One night, after the middle aged couple had retired for the night, the women awoke and became aware that her husband was touching her in a most unusual manner.
He started by running his hand across her shoulders and the small of her back. He then ran his hand over her breasts, touching them very lightly. Then, he proceeded to run his hand gently down her side, sliding his hand over her stomach, and then down the other side to a point below her waist. He continued on, gently feeling her hips, first one side and the other. His hand ran further down the outside of her thighs. His gentle probing then started up the inside of her left thigh, stopped and the returned to do the same to her right thigh.
By this time the women was becoming aroused and she squirmed a little to better position herself.
The man stopped abruptly and rolled over to his side of the bed. "Why are you stopping darling?" she whispered.
"Because I found the remote." he replied.
Services are pending..
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Thought for the day; “It’s impossible to think outside of the box when all you do is think about getting inside of the box.”
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Bubba
strangesly aroused
Reged: 12/14/05
Posts: 3828
Loc: Lemmingstan
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God Bless our Troops!
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Mel
member
Reged: 12/14/05
Posts: 6896
Loc: Excelsior Springs, MO
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Upon reaching 65, old Bubba decided to retire. After having him under foot for a few months, his wife became very agitated with him. She suggested he go and do something to occupy his time, like join a club or get a hobby. Old Bubba obliged and went out for a couple of hours. When he got home his wife asked about his day and he replied, "Oh, I just went down to the park and hung out with the guys And oh yeah, I joined a parachute club.
"What? Are you nuts? You're 65 years old and you're going to start jumping out of airplanes?"
"Yeah, look I even got a membership card."
"Old man, you need glasses! This is a membership in a Prostitute Club, not a Parachute Club!"
"Oh, great!, now what am I going to do? I signed up for 5 jumps a week......."
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Member DU, Delta
Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names - John Kennedy
Edited by Mel (07/27/07 03:39 PM)
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Bubba
strangesly aroused
Reged: 12/14/05
Posts: 3828
Loc: Lemmingstan
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Mel , WE know that ain't happening. 
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God Bless our Troops!
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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As his wife is curled up, ready to go to sleep, Bubba turns his bed lamp on to read a book.
As he's reading, he periodically reaches over to his wife and fondles her special area.
He does this a few times, but only for very short intervals before turning back to read his book.
The wife gradually becomes more and more aroused and assuming that Bubba is seeking some encouragement she gets up and starts stripping in front of him.
Bubbad is confused and asks, "Why are you taking off your clothes?"
His wife replies, "You were rubbing me downtown and I thought it was foreplay."
Bubba says, "No, not at all."
His wife asks angrily, "Well, then what the hell were you doing?"
Seconds before his death he says..."I was just wetting my fingers so I could turn the pages."
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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Bubba
strangesly aroused
Reged: 12/14/05
Posts: 3828
Loc: Lemmingstan
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Oh , SO Boooooo! You are a bad , bad man!
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God Bless our Troops!
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Mel
member
Reged: 12/14/05
Posts: 6896
Loc: Excelsior Springs, MO
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Bubba,
You gots to admit SF's last one was worse than mine.
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Member DU, Delta
Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names - John Kennedy
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Bubba
strangesly aroused
Reged: 12/14/05
Posts: 3828
Loc: Lemmingstan
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You got dat right!
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God Bless our Troops!
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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I heard that in his younger days...
Bubba was proudly showing off his new apartment to a couple of his friends late one night. He led the way to his bedroom where there was a big brass gong and a mallet.
"What's with that big brass gong?" one of the guests asked.
"It's not a gong. It's a talking clock", Bubba replied.
"A talking clock? Seriously?" asked his astonished friend.
"Yup", replied Bubba.
"How's it work?" the friend asked, squinting at it.
"Watch", Bubba replied. He picked up the mallet, gave the gong an ear-shattering pound, and stepped back. The three stood looking at one another for a moment.
Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screamed, "You aZZholee! It's three-fifteen in the morning!"
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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Bubba
strangesly aroused
Reged: 12/14/05
Posts: 3828
Loc: Lemmingstan
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God Bless our Troops!
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