Scout 1
New order Amish - not be confused with Meninite!
Reged: 12/14/05
Posts: 6778
Loc: Where there are no ducks
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Hail no, taxes won't be going up one single dime. Actually, they're going up a whole chitload of dimes.
http://wavs.unclebubby.com/wav/MOVIES/BlazingSaddles/DIMES.WAV
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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GONORRHEA LECTIM
The Center for Disease Control has issued a warning about a new virulent strain of this old disease. The disease is called Gonorrhea Lectim. It's pronounced "gonna re-elect 'im."
The disease is contracted through dangerous and high risk behavior involving putting your cranium up your rectum.
Many victims contracted it in 2008. But now most people, after having been infected for the past 1-2 years, are starting to realize how destructive this sickness is.
It's sad because it's so easily cured with a new procedure just coming on the market called Vo-tem-out! You take the first dose/step in 2010 and the second dosage in 2012 and simply don't engage in such behavior again, otherwise it could become permanent and eventually wipe out all life as we know it.
Several states are already on top of this, like Virginia and New Jersey and apparently now Massachusetts , with many more seeing the writing on the wall.
...Please pass this important message on to all those bright folks you really care about.
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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H2ODOG
the one who never tires
Reged: 12/22/05
Posts: 10993
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A little boy goes to his
dad and asks, 'What is Politics?'
Dad says, 'Well son, let
me try to explain it this way:
I am the head of the
family, so call me The President . Your mother is the
administrator of the money, so we call her the Government. We are here to take care of your needs, so we will call you the People. The nanny, we will consider her the Working Class and your baby brother, we will call him the Future.
Now think about that and see if it makes sense.
So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes
to his parent's room and finds his mother asleep
Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny.
He gives up and goes back to bed.
The next morning, the
little boy say's to his father, 'Dad, I think I
understand the concept of politics now. The father says, 'Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about. The little boy replies, " The President is screwing the Working Class while the
Government is sound asleep. The People are being ignored and the Future is in deep chit.
That bout sums it all up
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It’s better to be hated for who you are, instead of loved for who you aren’t.
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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Mel
member
Reged: 12/14/05
Posts: 6896
Loc: Excelsior Springs, MO
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A taxpayer voting for Barack Obama is like a chicken voting for Colonel Sanders. 
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Member DU, Delta
Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names - John Kennedy
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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Plug the damned hole...
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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RafeHollister
member
Reged: 12/14/05
Posts: 672
Loc: Webb City, MO
Current High Scores in:
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A Republican, in a wheelchair, entered a restaurant one afternoon and asked the waitress for a cup of coffee. The Republican looked across the restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus sitting over there?"
The waitress nodded "yes," so the Republican requested that she give Jesus a cup of coffee, on him.
The next patron to come in was a Libertarian, with a hunched back. He shuffled over to a booth, painfully sat down, and asked the waitress for a cup of hot tea. He also glanced across the restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus, over there?"
The waitress nodded, so the Libertarian asked her to give Jesus a cup of hot tea, "My treat."
The third patron to come into the restaurant was a Democrat on crutches. He hobbled over to a booth, sat down and hollered, "Hey there honey! How's about gettin' me a cold mug of Miller Light?" He too looked across the restaurant and asked, "Isn't that God's boy over there?
The waitress nodded, so the Democrat directed her to give Jesus a cold beer. "On my bill," he said loudly.
As Jesus got up to leave, he passed by the Republican, touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed." The Republican felt the strength come back into his legs, got up, and danced a jig out the door.
Jesus passed by the Libertarian, touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed." The Libertarian felt his back straightening up and he raised his hands, praised the Lord, and did a series of back flips out the door.
Then, Jesus walked towards the Democrat, just smiling.
The Democrat jumped up and yelled, "Don't touch me ... I'm collecting disability."
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Both how I'm livin' and my nose is large.
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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HELP................Am in trouble, tell me how to cancel a bid on E-Bay.
Does anyone know how to cancel a bid on eBay? I put in a bid for a “Mickey Mouse Outfit” and now it seems I'm only six minutes away from owning Obama and his entire Cabinet.
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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Mel
member
Reged: 12/14/05
Posts: 6896
Loc: Excelsior Springs, MO
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The liberals are asking us to give Obama time. We agree . . . and think
25 to life would be appropriate.--Jay Leno
America needs Obama-care like Nancy Pelosi needs a Halloween mask.--Jay
Leno
Q: Have you heard about McDonald's' new Obama Value Meal?
A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for
it.--Conan O'Brien
Q: What does Barack Obama call lunch with a convicted felon?
A: A fund raiser.--Jay Leno
Q: What's the difference between Obama's cabinet and a penitentiary?
A: One is filled with tax evaders, blackmailers, and threats to society.
The other is for housing prisoners.--David Letterman
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Member DU, Delta
Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names - John Kennedy
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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The skunk has replaced the Eagle as the new symbol of the American Presidency.
It is half black, half white, and everything it does stinks!
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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