CafeOutdoors.com The way it was...the way it always will be!!!

Miscellaneous Stuff >> Swampfox's Joke Section

Pages: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | >> (show all)
SwampFoxModerator
member
***

Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo

Re: Barack Hussin Obama [Re: SwampFox]
      #144726 - 03/12/08 04:24 AM



--------------------
"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."


Post Extras: Print Post   Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
SwampFoxModerator
member
***

Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo

Re: Barack Hussin Obama [Re: SwampFox]
      #146819 - 04/20/08 03:11 PM



--------------------
"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."


Post Extras: Print Post   Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
SwampFoxModerator
member
***

Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo

Re: Barack Hussin Obama [Re: SwampFox]
      #147727 - 05/01/08 12:01 PM



--------------------
"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."


Post Extras: Print Post   Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
SwampFoxModerator
member
***

Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo

Re: Barack Hussin Obama [Re: SwampFox]
      #149611 - 05/19/08 12:31 AM



--------------------
"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."


Post Extras: Print Post   Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
Hop

**

Reged: 12/16/06
Posts: 1801
Loc: Now that's a 10-2 Code

Re: Barack Hussin Obama [Re: SwampFox]
      #149625 - 05/19/08 07:13 AM

http://www.eyeblast.tv/public/video.aspx?RsrcID=2036

--------------------
Visit us at: http://flocked-N-Locked.com


Post Extras: Print Post   Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
SwampFoxModerator
member
***

Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo

Re: Barack Hussin Obama [Re: Hop]
      #152769 - 06/14/08 11:29 AM



--------------------
"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."


Post Extras: Print Post   Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
SwampFoxModerator
member
***

Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo

Re: Barack Hussin Obama [Re: SwampFox]
      #152812 - 06/15/08 11:35 AM

Video: Obama On Your Shoulder

--------------------
"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."


Post Extras: Print Post   Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
Mel
member
**

Reged: 12/14/05
Posts: 6896
Loc: Excelsior Springs, MO

Re: Barack Hussin Obama [Re: SwampFox]
      #152901 - 06/16/08 03:49 PM

He approaches the man behind the counter in the pro shop and says, "I would like 18 holes of golf and a caddie."

The man behind the counter says, "The 18 holes of golf is no problem, but all of the caddies are out on the course. What I will do for you is this: We just received 8 brand new robot golf caddies. If you're willing to take one with you out on the course and come back and tell me how well it works, your round of golf is on me today."

The golfer obviously accepted the man's offer.

He approached the first tee, looked at the fairway and said to himself, "I think my driver will do the job." The robot caddie turned to the man and said, "No sir. Use your 3 wood. A driver is far too much club for this hole."

Hesitantly, the golfer pulled out his 3 wood, made good contact with the ball, and the ball landed about 10 feet to the right front of the hole on the green.

The golfer, delighted, turned to the robot and thanked him for his assistance.

As the golfer pulled out his putter he said, "I think this green is gonna break left to right."

The robot then again spoke up and said, "No sir. I do believe this green will break right to left"

Thinking about the last time the robot corrected his prediction, he decided again to listen to the machine.

He made his putt and birdied the hole thanks to the robot and his advice.

But his luck didn't end there. His entire game was the best game he ever played, thanks to the assistance of the new robot golf caddie.

Upon returning to the clubhouse, the man behind the counter asked, "How was your game ?" The golfer stated, "It was, by far, the BEST game I ever played. Thank you very much for letting me take one of your robots. See you next week.

A week passed, and excited, the golfer returned to the pro shop. Upon entering, he turned to the man behind the counter and said, "I would like 18 holes of golf and one of those robot golf caddies, please."

The gentleman from behind the counter turned to the man and said, "Well the 18 holes is no problem. However, we had to get rid of the robots. We had too many complaints."

Confused, the golfer cried, "COMPLAINTS? Who in the heck could've complained about those robots? They were incredible"

The man sighed and said, "Well, it wasn't their performance. It was that they were made of shiny silver metal, and the sun reflecting off them was blinding to other golfers on the fair way. "

The golfer said, "So then why didn't you just paint them black?"

The man nodded sadly and replied, "We did. Then four of 'em didn't show up for work, two filed for welfare, one of them robbed the pro shop, and the other is running for President."

--------------------
Member DU, Delta

Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names - John Kennedy


Post Extras: Print Post   Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
old lodge skins
member
*

Reged: 12/14/05
Posts: 381
Loc: Porche's Prairie, MO

Re: Barack Hussin Obama [Re: Mel]
      #153215 - 06/19/08 09:02 AM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jj4VK9wVAi0

Post Extras: Print Post   Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
Mel
member
**

Reged: 12/14/05
Posts: 6896
Loc: Excelsior Springs, MO

Re: Barack Hussin Obama [Re: SwampFox]
      #154805 - 07/03/08 08:46 PM

Subject: The Post Turtle

While suturing a cut on the hand of a 75 year old Texas rancher, whose hand was caught in a gate while working cattle, the doctor struck up a conversation with the old man. Eventually the topic got around to Obama and his bid to be our President.

The old rancher said, 'Well, ya know, Obama is a 'post turtle'.'

Not being familiar with the term, the doctor asked him what a 'post turtle' was.

The old rancher said, 'When you're driving down a country road and you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that's a 'post turtle'.'

The old rancher saw a puzzled look on the doctor's face, so he continued to explain. 'You know the turtle didn't get up there by himself, he doesn't belong up there, he doesn't know what to do while he is up there, and you just wonder what kind of a dumb ass put him up there.'

--------------------
Member DU, Delta

Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names - John Kennedy


Post Extras: Print Post   Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
SwampFoxModerator
member
***

Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo

Re: Barack Hussin Obama [Re: SwampFox]
      #155259 - 07/08/08 04:16 PM



--------------------
"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."


Post Extras: Print Post   Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
Mel
member
**

Reged: 12/14/05
Posts: 6896
Loc: Excelsior Springs, MO

Re: Barack Hussin Obama [Re: SwampFox]
      #155765 - 07/13/08 03:21 PM

Working people frequently ask retired people what we do to make our days interesting. Well, for example, the other day I went downtown to go to the News Stand for the Wall Street Journal so I could track my investments. I was only in there for about 5 minutes. When I came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket. I said to him, 'Come on, man, don't you have anything better to do than write a retired person a ticket? Why aren't you out chasing crooks or child molesters...that's out of your league, obviously!!! He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. I called him a 'Nazi.' He glared at me and wrote another ticket for having worn tires. So I called him 'Barney Fife'. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he wrote a third ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes. The more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote.

Personally, I didn't care..... I came downtown on the bus. The car that he was putting the tickets on had a bumper sticker that said 'OBAMA' in 08. I try to have a little fun each day now that I'm retired. It's important to my health.

--------------------
Member DU, Delta

Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names - John Kennedy


Post Extras: Print Post   Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
67Firebird
Former political advocate
***

Reged: 12/14/05
Posts: 9172
Loc: Russellville, Mo

Re: Barack Hussin Obama [Re: Mel]
      #155766 - 07/13/08 04:47 PM



Post Extras: Print Post   Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
SwampFoxModerator
member
***

Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo

Re: Barack Hussin Obama [Re: 67Firebird]
      #156314 - 07/19/08 11:09 AM



--------------------
"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."


Post Extras: Print Post   Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
SwampFoxModerator
member
***

Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo

Re: Barack Hussin Obama [Re: SwampFox]
      #156315 - 07/19/08 11:12 AM



--------------------
"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."


Post Extras: Print Post   Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
SwampFoxModerator
member
***

Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo

Re: Barack Hussin Obama [Re: SwampFox]
      #156317 - 07/19/08 12:50 PM



--------------------
"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."


Post Extras: Print Post   Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
SwampFoxModerator
member
***

Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo

Re: Barack Hussin Obama [Re: SwampFox]
      #156745 - 07/23/08 08:54 PM



--------------------
"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."


Post Extras: Print Post   Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
SwampFoxModerator
member
***

Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo

Re: Barack Hussin Obama [Re: SwampFox]
      #156846 - 07/24/08 04:43 PM

Study: Fainting at Obama Rallies Caused by Intense Fear



WASHINGTON, DC, July 18 - There have been many reports in the past year of supporters fainting at Barack Obama rallies. The press proclaims "dehydration," or "hot sun" and "long waits." Evidence of course, that their candidate is a "rock star."



But with the number of down-for-the-count faithful going parabolic, serious questions are being asked. Now fainters are rushed out almost before they slap concrete. And you won't read a word about an entire row falling like dominoes.



Now, a new study, Central Ischaemic Response and The Politics of Hope, reveals an unexpected explanation for the Obama fainting: Intense fear.



After hundreds of interviews, researchers found that a majority of the "fainter" group of eyewitnesses reported being well rested, adequately hydrated, and relaxed. The common factor was that they claim to have seen the face of Jimmy Carter appear on Barack Obama.



Oddly, even eyewitnesses born after 1980 -- who would have no obvious reason to experience visceral fear at the sight of President Carter -- reported experiencing this phenomenon.



Experts caution that they don't yet have a workable theory, but suggest that when the human mind swings from ecstatic hope to crushing despair in less than a second, there might be some sort of 'mental whiplash' effect.

--------------------
"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."


Post Extras: Print Post   Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
SwampFoxModerator
member
***

Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo

Re: Barack Hussin Obama [Re: SwampFox]
      #156850 - 07/24/08 05:27 PM



--------------------
"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."


Post Extras: Print Post   Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
SwampFoxModerator
member
***

Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo

Re: Barack Hussin Obama [Re: SwampFox]
      #156856 - 07/24/08 06:44 PM



--------------------
"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."


Post Extras: Print Post   Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
Ozark
member
**

Reged: 12/14/05
Posts: 4012
Loc: out in the woods

Re: Barack Hussin Obama [Re: SwampFox]
      #156863 - 07/24/08 08:57 PM

He looks good with straight hair.

There's products that'll do that - he could borrow some from his wife.


Post Extras: Print Post   Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
SwampFoxModerator
member
***

Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo

Re: Barack Hussin Obama [Re: Ozark]
      #156960 - 07/25/08 03:24 PM



--------------------
"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."


Edited by SwampFox (07/26/08 02:42 AM)


Post Extras: Print Post   Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
SwampFoxModerator
member
***

Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo

Re: Barack Hussin Obama [Re: SwampFox]
      #157100 - 07/27/08 11:39 PM



--------------------
"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."


Post Extras: Print Post   Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
SwampFoxModerator
member
***

Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo

Re: Barack Hussin Obama [Re: SwampFox]
      #157291 - 07/29/08 05:39 PM



--------------------
"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."


Post Extras: Print Post   Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
SwampFoxModerator
member
***

Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo

Re: Barack Hussin Obama [Re: SwampFox]
      #157373 - 07/30/08 02:36 PM



--------------------
"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."


Post Extras: Print Post   Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
Pages: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | >> (show all)



Extra information
0 registered and 104 anonymous users are browsing this forum.

Moderator:  SwampFox, JimDog 

Print Topic

Forum Permissions
      You cannot start new topics
      You cannot reply to topics
      HTML is disabled
      UBBCode is enabled

Rating:
Topic views: 337514

Rate this topic

Jump to

Contact Us Return to Main Page

*
UBB.threads™ 6.5