67Firebird
Former political advocate
Reged: 12/14/05
Posts: 9172
Loc: Russellville, Mo
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...and some say stereotypes aren't real.  
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
Edited by SwampFox (03/01/09 03:57 AM)
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Ozark
member
Reged: 12/14/05
Posts: 4012
Loc: out in the woods
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After 28 years of loyal service to many presidents, the White House gardener was fired today.
Protesting his innocence, the man said he was planning to work on the rose beds - and all he did was ask a presidential aide "Have you seen the spade and the hoe?".
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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Video: Kim Jonk II Gets Married
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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Bartender says to the cowboy sitting at the bar, "Why do you wear what you wear?"
Cowboy says, "The wide brimmed hat keeps the sun out of my eyes, keeps the wind from blowing my hair, keeps the rain from my face. The bandana about my neck keeps the sun from burning my neck, and allows me a cloth to clean my face with, the chaps keep the brush from cutting through my jeans, the spurs get my horses attention."
The bartender says "Well whats up with the tennis shoes you're wearing?"
The cowboy replies, "Thats so people won't confuse me for a truck driver...."
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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A Polak, a Jew and a Guinny went to a strip club. The dancer got in front of the Polak and seductively waved her azz round in front of his face. The Polak pulled out a roll of bills, peeled off a 20, licked it and stuck it to the left cheek of her azz. She went in front of the Guinny and waved her azz around seductively in front of HIS face for a few and the Guinny pulled out his roll, peeled off a 20,licked it and stuck it to the other cheek of her azz. She went in front of the Jew and waved her azz seductively in front of his face for a few. The Jew pulled out his ATM card, swiped it down the crack of her azz and took both 20's
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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A Jew and a Catholic on a flight to Minnesota suffer a horrible journey. Massive storms buffet the plane and there is a collective sigh of relief when the plane finally lands.
From the corner of his eye the Catholic spots the Jew making the sign of the cross. "I saw that," he teased.
"Don't misunderstand," replied the Jew. "I was checking the items most vital in my life - spectacles, money belt, checkbook, and wallet."
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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An Irishman arrived at J.F.K. Airport and wandered
around the terminal with tears streaming down his cheeks.
An airline employee asked him if he was already homesick.
"No," replied the Irishman.
"I've lost all me luggage!"
"How'd that happen?"
"The cork fell out!" said the Irishman..
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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Ozark
member
Reged: 12/14/05
Posts: 4012
Loc: out in the woods
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In a recent survey carried out for leading toiletries firm BRUT, people from the City of Chicago have proved to be the most likely to have had sex in the shower!
In the survey, 86% of Chicago's inner city residents (almost all of whom are Democrats) said that they have enjoyed sex in the shower.
The other 14% said they hadn't been to prison yet.
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Whackattack
member
Reged: 12/14/05
Posts: 2554
Loc: Farmington, Mo
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Disregard if this one has been posted.
One of the White House groundskeepers was recently fired.
His offense? He was overheard asking a co-worker where the "spade" and the "hoe" were.
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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AMERICAN WOMEN
First date: You get to kiss her goodnight.
Second date: You get to grope all over and make out.
Third date: You get to have sex, but only in the missionary position.
IRISH WOMEN
First Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex.
Second Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex.
20th Anniversary: You both get blind drunk and have sex.
ITALIAN WOMEN
First Date: You take her to a play and an expensive restaurant.
Second Date: You meet her parents and her Mom makes spaghetti and
meatballs.
Third Date: You have sex, she wants to marry you and insists on a 3- carat ring.
5th Anniversary: You already have 5 kids together and hate the thought of having sex.
6th Anniversary: You find yourself a girlfriend.
JEWISH WOMEN
First Date: You get dynamite oral sex.
Second Date: You get more great oral sex..
Third Date: You tell her you'll marry her and you never get oral sex again.
CHINESE WOMEN
First date: You get to buy her an expensive dinner, but nothing happens.
Second date: You buy her an even more expensive dinner. Nothing happens again.
Third date: You don't even get to the third date and you already realized nothing is going to happen.
INDIAN WOMEN
First date: Meet her parents.
Second date: Set the date of the wedding..
Third date: Wedding night.
BLACK WOMEN
First Date: You get to buy her a real expensive dinner....
Second Date: You get to buy her and her girlfriends a real expensive dinner.
Third Date: You get to pay her rent.
Tenth Date: She's pregnant by someone other than you.
MEXICAN WOMEN
First Date: You buy her an expensive dinner, get drunk on tequila, and have sex in the back of her car.
Second Date: She's pregnant.
Third Date: She moves in. One week later, her mother, father, his girlfriend, her two sisters, her brother, all of their kids, her
grandma, her father's girlfriend's mother, her two cousins, her sister's boyfriend and his three kids move in .. and you live on rice
and beans for the rest of your life in your home that used to be nice, but now looks like a home along the Rio Grande.
The POINT?
DON'T YOU JUST LOVE IRISH WOMEN?
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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--------------------
"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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--------------------
"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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Bubba
strangesly aroused
Reged: 12/14/05
Posts: 3828
Loc: Lemmingstan
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A black guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder.
The Bartender says , "where did you get that?"
The parrot says , "Kenya , they are everywhere!"
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God Bless our Troops!
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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--------------------
"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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--------------------
"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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Bubba
strangesly aroused
Reged: 12/14/05
Posts: 3828
Loc: Lemmingstan
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The last 3... 
BIGGOT!!! 
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God Bless our Troops!
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