SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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H2ODOG
the one who never tires
Reged: 12/22/05
Posts: 10993
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Three 3rd Graders : an Irish kid, an Italian kid
and a Black kid, are on the playground at recess. The Irish kid suggests
that they play a new game. "Let's see who has the largest weenie," he says.
"Okay." They all agree.
The Irish kid pulls down his zipper and whips it out.
"That's nothing," says the Italian kid. He whips his out, and proudly shows that his is at least an inch longer.
Not to be outdone, the Black kid whips his out. It is by far, not only the biggest, but the fattest.
That night, eating dinner at home, the Black kid's mother asks
him what he did at school today.
"Oh, we worked on a science project, had a math test, and read
out loud from a new book, and then during recess, my friends and I played a
new game called 'Let's see who has the largest weenie."
"What kind of game is that, honey?" asks the mother.
"Well, me, Anthony and Patrick each pulled out our weenies, and
I had the biggest! The other kids say it's because I'm Black. Is that true?
"No, Leroy. It's because you're eighteen!"
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It’s better to be hated for who you are, instead of loved for who you aren’t.
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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My friend, Elizabeth Dunlap works for the Highway Department in West Virginia. She works with a lady who has a mentally challenged son. For years, she has had someone sit with her son while she goes to work. Last Friday, the sitter didn’t show up, so she debated on whether to leave him alone or stay at home. But she had a lot of work to do at the job so she decided she would leave him at home and call and check on him every hour.
The first several hours, she called and checked and he was watching TV, doing just fine. So at noon, she decided to call and check, and if he was ok, she would enjoy lunch with co-workers. She called and asked him what he was doing. His response confused her. “I cot me a twoll and I’m feedin him Skittles”. She asked him to repeat that. “I cot me a twoll and I’m feedin him Skittles”. Not understanding what he meant, she decided to go home and see for herself. As she walked upon her front porch, she looked in the window and her son was laying on his stomach on the floor, flippin Skittles underneath the closet door! Of course she had to investigate so she went in and asked him what he was doing...”I’m feeding him Skittles”. She said “who are you feeding”? He said “the twoll”. She went to the closet door, opened the door and a Midget ran out and grabbed her. “Thank You, Thank You, Thank You for rescuing me”. Her Son was proudly smiling as if he had found her a prize.
It seems the little fellow was a Census taker who had randomly come to her door. When her Son saw him, he picked the little guy up, probably had never seen a vertically challenged man, and carried him to the closet and locked the door. And decided to feed him til his Mom got home!
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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Introducing the Jig-a-Jig
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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67Firebird
Former political advocate
Reged: 12/14/05
Posts: 9172
Loc: Russellville, Mo
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Why are black people so tall?
Because their knee grows.
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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Mel will like that one. 
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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67Firebird
Former political advocate
Reged: 12/14/05
Posts: 9172
Loc: Russellville, Mo
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It was posted by a black lady over on AR15.com. 
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Old Gooser
member
Reged: 12/14/05
Posts: 621
Loc: Snookies home town
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New word meaning TO RENIG =
(SHIFT CHANGE AT MCDONALD'S)
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Ok I give up, thank you to everyone who voted for the BMOFO, (GOD save the king)
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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VERY STRANGE.....
Did You Know
That the words race car spelled backward spells race car.....................
That 'eat' is the only word that if you take the 1st letter and move it to the last, it spells it's past tense, ate..
And,
Have you noticed that if you rearrange the letters in "illegal immigrants" and add just a few more letters, it spells out: "fork off and go home you free-loading, benefit grabbing, kid producing, violent, non-English speaking cork and take those hairy faced, sandal wearing, bomb making, goat forking, smelly rag head bastards with you."
How weird is that
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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Building Permit
I recently applied for a building permit for a new house.
It's going to be 100 ft tall and 400 ft wide with 9 gun
turrets at various heights and windows all over the place
and a loud outside entertainment sound system.
It'll have parking for 200 cars and will be painted snot
green with pink trim.
The City Council told me to forget it... AIN'T GONNA
HAPPEN! So I sent in the application again, but this time I
called it a Mosque.
Work starts on Monday.
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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Video: White Womans Workout
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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Video: Prejudice
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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In 1872 the Scots invented the condom, using a sheep's bladder...however, in 1873, the English refined the idea somewhat by taking the bladder out of the sheep first!
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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Question of the day: Do Muslims plump when you cook them?
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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halfasmuch
action hero
Reged: 12/14/05
Posts: 4349
Loc: Upper Oakville
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swamp fox.. I have seen that sing in person... wichita "HomeofToto"
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The difference between genius and stupidity
is that genius has its limits.
-Albert Einstein
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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From a post by Ozark...
In a third grade class the teacher was having the kids stand up one at a time, tell what their dad did for a living, and spell it.
Little Mary got called on first, and she said "My daddy is a baker, that's B-A-K-E-R, and if he was here today he'd bake us all a cake".
Billy was next, and he said "My daddy is a banker, that's B-A-N-K-E-R, and if he was here he could make us all a loan".
Leroy, the black kid, was next, and he said "My daddy he a 'lectrician. Dat's L-E-K ...". The teacher interrupted and said, "No, Leroy. Try again." Leroy said "OK, dat's L-E-C-K...". The teacher said "No, Leroy - sit down and think about your spelling and I'll call on you again later."
The little hoodlum Johnny was next, and he said "My daddy is a bookie. That's B-O-O-K-I-E, and if he was here today he'd be shooting us all 5-to-3 odds that that n****r ain't never gonna spell electrician."
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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A young Arab boy asks his father:
•What is this strange hat that we are wearing?
•It's a "chechia" - because in the desert it protects our heads from the sun.
•And what is this weird type of clothing that we are wearing?
•It's a "djbellah" - because in the desert it is very hot and it protects your body!
•And what are these ugly shoes that we have on our feet?
•These are "babouches" - which keep us from burning our feet on the hot desert sand!
•Tell me, papa...
•Yes, my son?
•Why are we living in Dearborn, Michigan - and still wearing all of this crap?
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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Years ago it was suggested that an apple a day kept the doctor away. But since all the doctors are now Muslim, I've found that a bacon sandwich works best!
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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An Arab needed a heart transplant, but prior to the surgery the doctors needed to store his blood type in case the need arose.
Because the gentleman had a rare type of blood, it couldn't be found locally. So the call went out to a number of countries. Finally, a Jew was located who had the same blood type and who was willing to donate his blood to the Arab.
After the surgery, the Arab sent the Jew a thank-you card for giving his blood along with an expensive diamond and a new Rolls Royce car as a token of his appreciation.
Unfortunately, the Arab had to go through corrective surgery once again. His doctors called the Jew who was more than happy to donate his blood again.
After the second surgery, the Arab sent the Jew a Thank You card and a box of Almond Roca sweets.
The Jew was shocked to see that the Arab this time did not acknowledge his kind gesture in the same way as he had done the first time. So he phoned the Arab and asked him why he had expressed his appreciation in this not very generous manner.
The Arab replied: "Ya Habibi !!, (Dear Friend)
You have to remember, I have Jewish blood now"
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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No More Dog Questions!!!
Please be advised - I am sick of receiving questions about my dog who mauled 3 Muslims sitting on a rug next to my back wall, 6 illegals wearing Obama t-shirts, 4 Democrats wearing Pelosi t-shirts, 2 rappers, 5 phone operators who asked me to press #1 for English, 9 teenagers with their pants hanging down past their cracks, 8 customer service desk people speaking in broken English, 10 flag burners, and a Pakistani taxi driver.
FOR THE LAST TIME...
THE DOG IS NOT FOR SALE!
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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