SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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I was walking in a cemetery this morning and saw an Indian hiding behind a gravestone.
I said, "Morning."
He replied, "No, just having a chit."
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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The Pope was having a shower and although he is very strict about the rules of celibacy, he occasionally felt the need to exercise the right wrist and this was one of those occasions.
Just as he reached the Papal Climax, he saw a paparazzi photographer capturing the moment the Holy Seed flew through the air.
"Hold on a minute!" screamed the Pope, "you can't publish that photograph; you'll destroy the reputation of the Catholic Church."
"This photograph is my lottery win," replied the photographer, "I'll be financially secure for life."
So, the Pope offered to buy the camera and film from the photographer and after lots of negotiation, they eventually settled on a figure of two million Euros.
The Pope dried himself off and headed off with his new camera.
He met his housekeeper, who spotted the camera.
"That looks like a really good camera," she said, "how much did it cost you?"
"Two million Euros," replied the Pope.
"Two million Euros!" shrieked the housekeeper "They must have seen you coming!"
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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Did you ever wonder why there are no dead penguins on the ice in Antarctica - where do they go?
Wonder no more!!!
It is a known fact that the penguin is a very ritualistic bird which
lives an extremely ordered and complex life.
The penguin is very committed to its family and will mate for life, as well as maintaining a form of compassionate contact with its offspring throughout its life.
If a penguin is found dead on the ice surface, other members of the family and social circle have been known to dig holes in the ice, using their vestigial wings and beaks, until the hole is deep enough for the dead bird to be rolled into and buried.
The male penguins then gather in a circle around the fresh grave and sing:
"freeze a jolly good fellow."
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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Mel
member
Reged: 12/14/05
Posts: 6896
Loc: Excelsior Springs, MO
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Ugh!!!  Not even up to my standards. 
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Member DU, Delta
Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names - John Kennedy
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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After 17 pages it's hard to get new material. 
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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RafeHollister
member
Reged: 12/14/05
Posts: 672
Loc: Webb City, MO
Current High Scores in:
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Have you heard about the new corduroy pillow?
It's making headlines.
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Both how I'm livin' and my nose is large.
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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Quote:
RafeHollister said:
Have you heard about the new corduroy pillow?
It's making headlines.
Rafe,
That joke's groovy.
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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STTH
member
Reged: 12/14/05
Posts: 423
Loc: Turd Crick
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how can ya tell by the brown of her eye or just the fact that she is dressed entirely in black in 100 degree weather
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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You got it.
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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So this Pirate walks into a bar with a piece of paper towel on his head.
The bartender asks him, "Hey buddy, why the paper towel hat?"
The pirate replies, "Yar, that's the Bounty on me head."
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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Su Wong marries Lee Wong. The next year, the Wongs have a new baby.
The nurse brings out a lovely, healthy, bouncy, but definitely a Caucasian, WHITE baby boy.
'Congratulations,' says the nurse to the new parents... 'Well Mr. Wong, what will you and Mrs. Wong name the baby?'
The puzzled father looks at his new baby boy and says, 'Well, two Wong's don't make a white, so I think we will name him....
Sum Ting Wong
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
|
SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
|
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--------------------
"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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A drunk is sitting at the bar. There is a very buxom blonde a few seats down from him.
A fellow at the other end of the bar calls for a beer.
The bartender fills the mug and slides it down the bar.
The glass hits the blonde's breasts and spills all over them. The bartender goes over, retrieves the mug and licks the beer off her breasts.
This happens a couple more times.
The next time, the drunk jumps up and starts to lick her breasts. She decks him!
He's lying on the floor moaning and groaning.
"How come you let the bartender do it?" he asks the blonde?
She answers: "Because he has got a Licker License.
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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Burrhead
member
Reged: 12/14/05
Posts: 3075
Loc: Just north of Bugtussle
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Boooooooo. 
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Somebody has to walk the point.
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