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SwampFoxModerator
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Re: Just For Mel [Re: SwampFox]
      #234158 - 12/02/12 04:58 PM

Sky news report.

The Irish have joined in the attack on Libya. They sent in 3 ships - 2 full of sand and one full of cement.

It was a mortar attack.

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SwampFoxModerator
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Re: Just For Mel [Re: SwampFox]
      #234218 - 12/06/12 05:20 PM



--------------------
"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."


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Mel
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Re: Just For Mel [Re: SwampFox]
      #234242 - 12/07/12 02:17 PM

That is sooooooooooo bad..........

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Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names - John Kennedy


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SwampFoxModerator
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Re: Just For Mel [Re: Mel]
      #234244 - 12/07/12 04:04 PM

Quote:

Mel said:
That is sooooooooooo bad..........




No, it is wong on so many levels...

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SwampFoxModerator
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Re: Just For Mel [Re: SwampFox]
      #234336 - 12/11/12 01:57 PM

Looks like "HomeofToto"...



--------------------
"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."


Edited by SwampFox (12/11/12 01:58 PM)


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SwampFoxModerator
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Re: Just For Mel [Re: SwampFox]
      #234454 - 12/16/12 11:00 PM

NASA recently sent a number of Holsteins into orbit for experimental purposes.

They called it the herd shot round the world.

--------------------
"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."


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MB2
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Re: Just For Mel [Re: SwampFox]
      #234487 - 12/18/12 06:08 AM

A psychiatrist is doing his rounds with a couple of students. They look in on one patient, and the psychiatrist says to his students, "Sometimes this fellow thinks he's a temptress in a Bizet opera, but today, as you can see from his goose-stepping, he thinks he's the World War II head of the Luftwaffe. What condition do you think he's suffering from?"

The first student replies, "Is he a paranoid schizophrenic with a multiple-personality disorder?"


The second student says, "No, surely he just doesn't know ...


... whether he's Carmen or Goering."


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Re: Just For Mel [Re: MB2]
      #234501 - 12/18/12 03:17 PM

Stole dat.

--------------------
"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."


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Re: Just For Mel [Re: SwampFox]
      #234591 - 12/21/12 09:06 AM



--------------------
"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."


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Re: Just For Mel [Re: SwampFox]
      #234638 - 12/23/12 06:02 PM



--------------------
"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."


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Bubba
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Re: Just For Mel [Re: SwampFox]
      #234639 - 12/23/12 06:49 PM

Booooooooo

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fish
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Re: Just For Mel [Re: Bubba]
      #234640 - 12/23/12 08:26 PM

Quote:

Bubba said:
Booooooooo




X2- Mods - Ban SF for at least an hour for that one


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SwampFoxModerator
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Re: Just For Mel [Re: fish]
      #234644 - 12/24/12 12:34 AM

O works hard to bring you the best of the internet....

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Re: Just For Mel [Re: SwampFox]
      #234655 - 12/24/12 10:25 AM

And still get no r e s p c t.

--------------------
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fish
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Re: Just For Mel [Re: SwampFox]
      #234659 - 12/24/12 11:33 AM



<groan>

R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Find out what it means to me. Areatha, circa 1967


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Re: Just For Mel [Re: fish]
      #234780 - 12/27/12 01:55 PM

One Thursday evening Mr. Smith was sitting in his favorite armchair, drinking a beer, and watching football, when he had this sudden urge to pass wind. This he duly did...'...phurpppHONDA!'

'Weird' thought Mr. Smith, but thought nothing of it, until 5 minutes later, when...
'...phurpppHONDA!'

At this he got worried. He rushed to the local hospital, and managed to get an appointment with an intestinal specialist.

"What seems to be the problem Mr. Smith?" asked the doctor.

"Well, whenever I pass wind, it seems to make a noise like a motorbike" replied Mr Smith.

"Could you possibly show me?' asked the doctor. Mr Smith duly obliged.
'...phurpppHONDA!'

"Bend over please Mr Smith, I'd like to examine you... (muffled) ah yes, I see your problem," said the doctor "you have an abscess on your backside. That would explain the strange noise."

Mr. Smith was lost for words. "How," he asked "could an abscess on my ass make a noise like that!?"

"Simple," replied the doctor..."Abscess makes the fart go Honda"
.

--------------------
"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."


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Re: Just For Mel [Re: SwampFox]
      #234782 - 12/27/12 02:16 PM



--------------------
"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."


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Re: Just For Mel [Re: SwampFox]
      #235236 - 01/16/13 12:59 AM



--------------------
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Re: Just For Mel [Re: SwampFox]
      #235239 - 01/16/13 08:18 AM

Now that's punny no matter who you are

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Re: Just For Mel [Re: wuchang]
      #235242 - 01/16/13 10:01 AM



--------------------
"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."


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Re: Just For Mel [Re: SwampFox]
      #235248 - 01/16/13 10:59 AM



--------------------
God Bless our Troops!


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Re: Just For Mel [Re: Bubba]
      #235306 - 01/17/13 03:04 PM



--------------------
"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."


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MB2
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Re: Just For Mel [Re: SwampFox]
      #235730 - 01/31/13 09:14 AM

1. ARBITRATOR: A cook that leaves Arby's to work at McDonalds
2. AVOIDABLE: What a bullfighter tries to do
3. BERNADETTE: The act of torching a mortgage
4. BURGLARIZE: What a crook sees with
5. CONTROL: A short, ugly inmate
6. COUNTERFEITERS: Workers who put together kitchen cabinets
7. ECLIPSE: What an English barber does for a living
8. EYEDROPPER: A clumsy ophthalmologist
9. HEROES: What a guy in a boat does
10. LEFTBANK: What the robber did when his bag was full of money
11. MISTY: How golfers create divots
12. PARADOX: Two physicians
13. PARASITES: What you see from the top of the Eiffel Tower
14. PHARMACIST: A helper on the farm
15. POLARIZE: What penguins see with
16. PRIMATE: Removing your spouse from in front of the TV
17. RELIEF: What trees do in the spring
18. RUBBERNECK: What you do to relax your wife
19. SELFISH: What the owner of a seafood store does
20. SUDAFED: Brought litigation against a government official


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Mel
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Re: Just For Mel [Re: MB2]
      #235731 - 01/31/13 10:11 AM

We need a whole lot more of the SUDAFED!!!!

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Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names - John Kennedy


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MB2
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Re: Just For Mel [Re: Mel]
      #235735 - 01/31/13 12:02 PM

Quote:

Mel said:
We need a whole lot more of the SUDAFED!!!!




Nah, what everyone NEEDS is a whole lot LESS FEDS!

The guys at home sent this, trying to trick me into believing that they're out on the lake, already.

They're not.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f5gybFkcc60&feature=youtu.be


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