fireman
Reged: 06/28/06
Posts: 3
Loc: missouri
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Never posted in this room, but always read you alls jokes. thought I tell one.
An old married couple no sooner hit the pillows when the old man passes gas and says, "Seven Points."
His wife rolls over and says, "What in the world was that?" The old man replied, "It's fart football."
A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says, "Touchdown, tie score.."
After about five minutes the old man lets another one go and says, "Aha, I'm ahead 14 to 7."
Not to be outdone the wife rips out another one and says, "Touchdown, Tie score.."
Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says, "Field goal, I lead 17 to 14." Now the pressure is on for the old man.
He refuses to get beaten by a woman, so he strains real hard.
Since defeat is totally unacceptable, he gives it everything he's got, and accidentally poops in bed.
The wife says, "What the hell was that?"
The old man replies "Half time, switch sides.
Edited by fireman (02/09/13 04:46 PM)
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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Good one! 
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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Bubba
strangesly aroused
Reged: 12/14/05
Posts: 3828
Loc: Lemmingstan
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Boooooooo 
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God Bless our Troops!
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Mel
member
Reged: 12/14/05
Posts: 6896
Loc: Excelsior Springs, MO
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Aren't you strangely aroused? 
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Member DU, Delta
Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names - John Kennedy
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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Quote:
Mel said:
Aren't you strangely aroused?
Just his appetite.
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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Bubba
strangesly aroused
Reged: 12/14/05
Posts: 3828
Loc: Lemmingstan
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Damn! 
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God Bless our Troops!
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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--------------------
"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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--------------------
"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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A slave call girl from Sardinia named Gedophamee was attending a great but as yet unnamed athletic festival 2500 years ago in Greece.
In those days, believe it or not, the athletes performed naked.
To prevent unwanted arousal while competing, the men imbibed freely on drink containing saltpeter before and throughout the variety of events.
At the opening ceremonial parade, Gedophamee observed the first wave of naked magnificent males marching toward her and she exclaimed: "OH!! Limp pricks!"
Over the next two and a half millennia that morphed into " Olympics".
Just thought I'd share this new found knowledge with you.
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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Bubba
strangesly aroused
Reged: 12/14/05
Posts: 3828
Loc: Lemmingstan
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Personally , I don't believe that. 
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God Bless our Troops!
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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Hater! 
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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So here’s the deal – We buy new shoes and take them to the animal shelter and let the dogs chew on them for a little while. At just the right time, they’ll remove the shoes, and for the prepaid donation, give them back to you. The chewed shoes will then be a mark of distinction for all to see.
The chewed shoes will be the coolest new style, and everyone will want to join in on the fad. You will wear them to Starbucks or the Orchestra, and flaunt your exquisite taste.
These shoes will be the talk of the town. Completely original, and appropriately named “Chattanooga Chewed Shoes.”
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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--------------------
"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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--------------------
"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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I'm really enjoying my lasso classes, even though I got roped into it.
What do you call a ghost's mother and father? Transparents!
Why don't people live in toadstools? Cause there isn't mushroom.
What's a metaphor? For cows to graze on.
What did one ocean say to the other ocean?...Nothing they just waved
If you want to know how many bees Noah had… check the Ark Hives
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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Burrhead
member
Reged: 12/14/05
Posts: 3075
Loc: Just north of Bugtussle
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Quote:
SwampFox said:
If you want to know how many bees Noah had… check the Ark Hives
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Somebody has to walk the point.
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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--------------------
"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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--------------------
"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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Bubba
strangesly aroused
Reged: 12/14/05
Posts: 3828
Loc: Lemmingstan
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 Goodun...
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God Bless our Troops!
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Mel
member
Reged: 12/14/05
Posts: 6896
Loc: Excelsior Springs, MO
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I wouldn't want to cramp Bubba's style, but, those would arouse a lot of folks. 
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Member DU, Delta
Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names - John Kennedy
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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Today, I saw a midget prisoner climbing down a wall.
As he turned and sneered at me, I thought: 'that's a little condescending.
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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Burrhead
member
Reged: 12/14/05
Posts: 3075
Loc: Just north of Bugtussle
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Somebody has to walk the point.
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