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Mel
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Re: Heaven And Hell [Re: Mel]
      #124535 - 11/05/07 05:42 PM

A minister parked his car in a no-parking zone in a large city because he was short of time and couldn't find a space with a meter.

Then he put a note under the windshield wiper that read: "I have circled the block 10 times. If I don't park here, I'll miss my appointment. Forgive us our trespasses."

When he returned, he found a citation from a police officer along with this note "I've circled this block for 10 years. If I don't give you a ticket I'll lose my job. Lead us not into temptation."

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Mel
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Re: Heaven And Hell [Re: Mel]
      #124537 - 11/05/07 05:44 PM

The minister was preoccupied with thoughts of how he was going to ask the congregation to come up with more money than they were expecting for repairs to the church building. Therefore, he was annoyed to find that the regular organist was sick and a substitute had been brought in at the last minute. The substitute wanted to know what to play.

"Here's a copy of the service," he said impatiently. "But, you'll have to think of something to play after I make the announcement about the finances."

During the service, the minister paused and said, "Brothers and Sisters, we are in great difficulty; the roof repairs cost twice as much as we expected and we need $4,000 more. Any of you who can pledge $100 or more, please stand up."

At that moment, the substitute organist played "The Star Spangled Banner."

And that is how the substitute became the regular organist!

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Mel
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Re: Heaven And Hell [Re: SwampFox]
      #124559 - 11/05/07 06:27 PM

A minister waited in line to have his car filled with gas just before a long holiday weekend. The attendant worked quickly, but there were many cars ahead of him. Finally, the attendant motioned him toward a vacant pump.

"Reverend," said the young man, "I'm so sorry about the delay. It seems as if everyone waits until the last minute to get ready for a long trip."

The minister chuckled, "I know what you mean. It's the same in my business."

--------------------
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Mel
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Re: Heaven And Hell [Re: SwampFox]
      #127378 - 11/20/07 02:56 PM

THE BACK PEW


There was a preacher whose wife was expecting a baby so he went before the congregation and asked for a raise.

After much discussion, they passed a rule that whenever the preacher's family expanded, so would his paycheck.

After 6 children, this started to get expensive and the Congregation decided to hold another meeting to discuss the preacher's salary.

There was much yelling and bickering about how much the clergyman's additional children were costing the church. Finally, the Preacher gotup and spoke to the crowd, "Children are a gift from God," he said.

Silence fell on the congregation.

In the back pew, a little old lady stood up and in her frail voice said, "Rain is also a gift from God, but when we get too much of it, we wear rubbers."

And the congregation said, "Amen".

--------------------
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Mel
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Re: Heaven And Hell [Re: Mel]
      #128221 - 11/26/07 05:01 PM

Jewish Math



A Jewish woman says to her mother, "I'm divorcing Sheldon !
All he wants is anal sex and my asshole is now the size of a 50 cent
piece when it used to be the size of a 5 cent piece."

Mother says "You're married to a multi-millionaire businessman, you live
in an 8 bedroom mansion, you drive a Ferrari, you get $1000 a week allowance,
you take 6 vacations a year and you want to throw all that away for 45 cents
!!!!!!!!!"

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SwampFoxModerator
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Re: Heaven And Hell [Re: Mel]
      #146831 - 04/21/08 05:15 AM

A curious fellow died one day and found himself waiting in the long line of judgment.
As he stood there he noticed that some souls were
allowed to march right through the pearly gates into Heaven.
Others though, were led over to Satan who threw them into the burning fire.
But every so often, instead of hurling a poor soul into the fire, Satan would
toss a soul off to one side into a small pile.

After watching Satan do this several times, the fellow's curiosity got the best of him.

So he strolled over and asked Satan what he was doing. 'Excuse me,
Prince of Darkness,' he said. 'I'm waiting in line for Judgment, but I
couldn't help wondering. Why are you tossing those people aside
instead of flinging them into the Fires of h*!! with the others?'
'Oh those . .' Satan groaned. 'They're all from Missouri.
They're still too wet to burn.'

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Mac
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Re: Heaven And Hell [Re: SwampFox]
      #146873 - 04/21/08 08:46 PM

hehehe...........I can go for days on end without something tickling my arse like that one!!! Dammitt!!!

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SwampFoxModerator
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Re: Heaven And Hell [Re: Mac]
      #146875 - 04/22/08 12:19 AM

Thanks. It might not have been that funny a couple of weeks ago.

--------------------
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Mel
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Re: Heaven And Hell [Re: SwampFox]
      #147137 - 04/24/08 11:25 AM

After getting all of Pope Benedict's luggage loaded into the limo, (and He doesn't travel light), the driver notices that the Pope is still standing on the curb.

'Excuse me, Your Holiness,' says the driver,' Would you please take your seat so we can leave?'

'Well, to tell you the truth,' says the Pope, 'they never let me drive at the Vatican when I was a cardinal, and I'd really like to drive today.'

'I'm sorry, Your Holiness, but I cannot let you do that I'd lose my job! And what if something should happen?' protests the driver, wishing he'd never gone to work that morning.

'Who's going to tell? Besides, there might be something extra in it for you,' says the Pope with a smile.

Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope climbs in behind the wheel. The driver quickly regrets his decision when, after exiting the airport, the Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to 105 mph. (Remember, he's a German Pope.)

'Please slow down, Your Holiness!' pleads the worried driver, but the Pope keeps the pedal to the metal until they hear sirens. 'Oh, dear God, I'm gonna lose my license -- and my job!' moans the driver.

The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop approaches, but the cop takes one look at him, goes back to his motorcycle, and gets on the radio.

'I need to talk to the Chief,' he says to the dispatcher. The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he's stopped a limo going a hundred and five.

'So bust him,' says the Chief. 'I don't think we want to do that, he's really important,' said the cop.

The Chief exclaimed, ' All the more reason!'

'No, I mean really important,' said the cop with a bit of persistence.

The Chief then asked, 'Who ya got there, the Mayor?'

Cop: 'Bigger.'

Chief: 'The Governor?'

Cop: 'Bigger.'

Chief: 'The President?'

Cop: 'Bigger.'

'Well,' said the Chief, 'Who is it?'

Cop: 'I think it's God!'

The Chief is even more puzzled and curious, 'What makes you think it's God?'

Cop: 'He's got the Pope as a chauffeur.

--------------------
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Mel
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Re: Heaven And Hell [Re: SwampFox]
      #148704 - 05/10/08 07:04 PM

HELL EXPLAINED BY CHEMISTRY STUDENT

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid term.

The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :


Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. < /P>

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."


THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.

--------------------
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Mel
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Re: Heaven And Hell [Re: SwampFox]
      #149024 - 05/13/08 03:16 PM

One day God was looking down at Earth and saw all of the rascally behavior that was going on. So He called one of His angels and sent the angel to Earth for a time.

When he returned, he told God, 'Yes, it is bad on Earth; 95% are misbehaving and only 5% are not.'
 
God thought for a moment and said, 'Maybe I had better send down a second angel to get another opinion.'

So God called another angel and sent him to Earth for a time.

When the angel returned he went to God and said, 'Yes, it's true. The Earth is in decline; 95% are misbehaving, but 5 are being good.'

God was not pleased. So He decided to e-mail the 5% that were good, because He wanted to encourage them, and give them a little something to help them keep going.
 
Do you know what the e-mail said?
 
      
     
 

Okay, I was just wondering, because I didn't get one either.

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Mel
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Re: Heaven And Hell [Re: SwampFox]
      #151318 - 06/02/08 10:22 AM

The Torah and the Beach chair


A Jewish businessman was in a great deal of trouble. His business was failing, he had put everything he had into the business, he owed everybody. It was so bad he was even contemplating suicide. As a last resort he went to a Rabbi and poured out his story of tears and woe.

When he had finished, the Rabbi said, 'Here's what I want you to do: Put a beach chair and your Torah in your car and drive down to the beach. Take the beach chair and the Torah to the water's edge, sit down in the beach chair, and put the Torah in your lap. Open the Torah; the wind will riffle the pages, but finally the open Torah will come to rest on a page. Look down at the page and read the first thing you see. That will be your answer. That will tell you what to do.'

A year later the businessman went back to the Rabbi and brought his wife and children with him. The man was in a new custom-tailored suit, his wife in a mink coat, the children shining. The businessman pulled an envelope stuffed with money out of his pocket, gave it to the Rabbi as a donation in thanks for his advice.

The Rabbi recognized the benefactor, and was curious. 'You did as I suggested?' he asked.

'Absolutely,' replied the businessman.

'You went to the beach?'

'Absolutely.'

'You sat in a beach chair with the Torah in your lap?'

'Absolutely.'

'You let the pages riffle until they stopped?'

'Absolutely.'

'And what were the first words you saw?'

'Chapter 11.'

--------------------
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Re: Heaven And Hell [Re: Mel]
      #152051 - 06/09/08 12:56 PM



--------------------
"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."


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Mel
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Re: Heaven And Hell [Re: SwampFox]
      #152561 - 06/12/08 07:27 PM

PHILANTHROPY

A visitor to Israel attended a recital and concert at the Moscovitz Auditorium. He was quite impressed with the architecture and the acoustics. He inquired of the tour guide, 'Is this magnificent auditorium named after Chaim Moscovitz, the famous Talmudic scholar?'

'No,' replied the guide. 'It is named after Sam Moscovitz, the writer.'

'Never heard of him. What did he write?'

'A check,' replied the guide.

--------------------
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Re: Heaven And Hell [Re: Mel]
      #152761 - 06/14/08 09:28 AM



--------------------
"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."


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Mel
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Re: Heaven And Hell [Re: SwampFox]
      #152770 - 06/14/08 11:33 AM

INNOCENCE IS PRICELESS

One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Alex standing in the foyer of the church staring up at a large plaque. It was covered with names with small American flags mounted on either side of it.

The seven year old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up, stood beside the little boy, and said quietly, 'Good morning Alex.'

'Good morning Pastor,' he replied, still focused on the plaque.

'Pastor, what is this?' he asked.

The pastor said, 'Well, son, it's a memorial to all the young men and women who died in the service.'

Soberly, they just stood together, staring at the large plaque. Finally, little Alex's voice, barely audible and trembling with fear , asked, 'Which service, the 8:30 or the 10:45?'

--------------------
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Re: Heaven And Hell [Re: Mel]
      #154782 - 07/03/08 04:30 PM

TEXAS Bar Sues Church

In a small Texas town, ( Mt. Vernon ) Drummond's bar began construction on a new building to increase their business. The local Baptist church started a campaign to block the bar from opening with petitions and prayers. Work progressed right up till the week before opening when lightning struck the bar and it burned to the ground.

The church folks were rather smug in their outlook after that, until the bar owner sued the church on the grounds that the church was ultimately responsible for the demise of his building, either through direct or indirect actions or means. The church vehemently denied all responsibility or any connection to the building's demise in its reply to the court

As the case made its way into court, the judge looked over thepaperwork. At the hearing he commented, "I don't know how I'm going to decide this, but as it appears from the paperwork, we have a bar owner who believes in the power of prayer, and an entire church congregation that does not."

--------------------
"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."


Edited by SwampFox (07/03/08 04:31 PM)


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Re: Heaven And Hell [Re: SwampFox]
      #155154 - 07/07/08 12:44 PM

Recently, while going through an airport during one of his many trips, President
Bush encountered a man with long gray hair and beard, wearing a white robe and sandals, holding a staff.

President Bush went up to the man and said, 'Has anyone told you that you look like Moses?'

The man didn't answer. He just kept staring straight ahead.

The president said, 'Moses!' in a loud voice.

The man just stared ahead, never acknowledging the president.

The president pulled a Secret Service agent aside and, pointing to the robed man, asked him, 'Am I crazy, or does that man not look like Moses to you?’

The Secret Service agent looked at the man and agreed.

'Well,' said the president, 'every time I say his name, he ignores me and stares straight ahead, refusing to speak.

"Watch!' Again the president yelled, 'Moses!' and again the man ignores him.

The Secret Service agent went up to the man in the white robe and whispered, 'You look just like Moses. Are you Moses?'

The man leaned over and whispered back, 'Shhhh! Yes, I am Moses. But the last time I talked to a bush, I spent 40 years wandering in the desert and ended up leading my people to the only spot in the entire Middle East with no oil!'

--------------------
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Mel
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Re: Heaven And Hell [Re: SwampFox]
      #155698 - 07/12/08 08:09 AM

It's so dry in Texas that the Baptists are starting to baptize by sprinkling, the Methodists are using wet-wipes, the Presbyterians are giving out rain-checks and the Catholics are praying for the wine to turn back into water.

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Re: Heaven And Hell [Re: Mel]
      #156916 - 07/25/08 10:40 AM

From The Times
July 25, 2008

He ventured forth to bring light to the world
The anointed one's pilgrimage to the Holy Land is a miracle in action - and a blessing to all his faithful followersGerard Baker
And it came to pass, in the eighth year of the reign of the evil Bush the Younger (The Ignorant), when the whole land from the Arabian desert to the shores of the Great Lakes had been laid barren, that a Child appeared in the wilderness.

The Child was blessed in looks and intellect. Scion of a simple family, offspring of a miraculous union, grandson of a typical white person and an African peasant. And yea, as he grew, the Child walked in the path of righteousness, with only the occasional detour into the odd weed and a little blow.

When he was twelve years old, they found him in the temple in the City of Chicago, arguing the finer points of community organisation with the Prophet Jeremiah and the Elders. And the Elders were astonished at what they heard and said among themselves: “Verily, who is this Child that he opens our hearts and minds to the audacity of hope?”

In the great Battles of Caucus and Primary he smote the conniving Hillary, wife of the deposed King Bill the Priapic and their barbarian hordes of Working Class Whites.


And so it was, in the fullness of time, before the harvest month of the appointed year, the Child ventured forth - for the first time - to bring the light unto all the world.

He travelled fleet of foot and light of camel, with a small retinue that consisted only of his loyal disciples from the tribe of the Media. He ventured first to the land of the Hindu Kush, where the Taleban had harboured the viper of al-Qaeda in their bosom, raining terror on all the world.

And the Child spake and the tribes of Nato immediately loosed the Caveats that had previously bound them. And in the great battle that ensued the forces of the light were triumphant. For as long as the

Child stood with his arms raised aloft, the enemy suffered great blows and the threat of terror was no more.

From there he went forth to Mesopotamia where he was received by the great ruler al-Maliki, and al-Maliki spake unto him and blessed his Sixteen Month Troop Withdrawal Plan even as the imperial warrior Petraeus tried to destroy it.

And lo, in Mesopotamia, a miracle occurred. Even though the Great Surge of Armour that the evil Bush had ordered had been a terrible mistake, a waste of vital military resources and doomed to end in disaster, the Child's very presence suddenly brought forth a great victory for the forces of the light.

And the Persians, who saw all this and were greatly fearful, longed to speak with the Child and saw that the Child was the bringer of peace. At the mention of his name they quickly laid aside their intrigues and beat their uranium swords into civil nuclear energy ploughshares.

From there the Child went up to the city of Jerusalem, and entered through the gate seated on an ass. The crowds of network anchors who had followed him from afar cheered “Hosanna” and waved great palm fronds and strewed them at his feet.

In Jerusalem and in surrounding Palestine, the Child spake to the Hebrews and the Arabs, as the Scripture had foretold. And in an instant, the lion lay down with the lamb, and the Israelites and Ishmaelites ended their long enmity and lived for ever after in peace.

As word spread throughout the land about the Child's wondrous works, peoples from all over flocked to hear him; Hittites and Abbasids; Obamacons and McCainiacs; Cameroonians and Blairites.

And they told of strange and wondrous things that greeted the news of the Child's journey. Around the world, global temperatures began to decline, and the ocean levels fell and the great warming was over.

The Great Prophet Algore of Nobel and Oscar, who many had believed was the anointed one, smiled and told his followers that the Child was the one generations had been waiting for.

And there were other wonderful signs. In the city of the Street at the Wall, spreads on interbank interest rates dropped like manna from Heaven and rates on credit default swaps fell to the ground as dead birds from the almond tree, and the people who had lived in foreclosure were able to borrow again.

Black gold gushed from the ground at prices well below $140 per barrel. In hospitals across the land the sick were cured even though they were uninsured. And all because the Child had pronounced it.

And this is the testimony of one who speaks the truth and bears witness to the truth so that you might believe. And he knows it is the truth for he saw it all on CNN and the BBC and in the pages of The New York Times.

Then the Child ventured forth from Israel and Palestine and stepped onto the shores of the Old Continent. In the land of Queen Angela of Merkel, vast multitudes gathered to hear his voice, and he preached to them at length.

But when he had finished speaking his disciples told him the crowd was hungry, for they had had nothing to eat all the hours they had waited for him.

And so the Child told his disciples to fetch some food but all they had was five loaves and a couple of frankfurters. So he took the bread and the frankfurters and blessed them and told his disciples to feed the multitudes. And when all had eaten their fill, the scraps filled twelve baskets.

Thence he travelled west to Mount Sarkozy. Even the beauteous Princess Carla of the tribe of the Bruni was struck by awe and she was great in love with the Child, but he was tempted not.

On the Seventh Day he walked across the Channel of the Angles to the ancient land of the hooligans. There he was welcomed with open arms by the once great prophet Blair and his successor, Gordon the Leper, and his successor, David the Golden One.

And suddenly, with the men appeared the archangel Gabriel and the whole host of the heavenly choir, ranks of cherubim and seraphim, all praising God and singing: “Yes, We Can.”

--------------------
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Re: Heaven And Hell [Re: SwampFox]
      #159265 - 08/17/08 11:15 AM

So I can find it....

************************

Jesus walks into a hotel,
he lays 3 nails on the counter and asks































"..can you put me up for the night?"

--------------------
"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."


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Re: Heaven And Hell [Re: SwampFox]
      #159909 - 08/22/08 12:57 PM

666- Biblical Number of the Beast
660- Approximate Number of the Beast
DCLXVI- Roman Numeral of the Beast
665- Number of the Beast's Older Brother
667- Number of the Beast's Younger Sister
664 or 668- Number of the Beast's Next-Door Neighbors
999- Number of the Australian Beast
333- Number of the Semi-Beast (also "Halfway to Hell")
66- Number of the Downsized Beast
6,- uh..., I forget Number of the Blond Beast
666.0000- Number of the High Precision Beast
665.9997856- Number of the Beast on a Pentium
0.666- Number of the Millibeast
X / 666- Beast Common Denominator
0.00150150...- Reciprocal of the Beast
-666- Opposite of the Beast
666i- Imaginary Number of the Beast
6.66 x 102- Scientific Notation of the Beast
25.8069758...- Square Root of the Beast
443556- Square of the Beast
1010011010- Binary Number of the Beast
1232- Octal of the Beast
29A -Hexidecimal of the Beast
2.8235- Log of the Beast
6.5913- Ln of the Beast
1.738 x 10289- Anti-Log of the Beast
00666- Zip Code of the Beast
666@hell.org- E-mail Address of the Beast
www.666.com- Website of the Beast
1-666-666-6666- Phone & FAX Number of the Beast
1-866-666-6666- Toll Free Number of the Beast (which could also be written 18-666-666-666!)
1-900-666-6666 -Live Beasts, available now! One-on-one pacts!
Only $6.66 per minute! (Must be over 6+6+6 years old!)
666-66-6666- Social Security Number of the Beast
Form 10666- Special IRS Tax Forms for the Beast
66.6%- Tax Rate of the Beast
6.66%- 6-Year CD Interest Rate at First Beast Bank of Hell ($666 minimum deposit, $666 early withdrawal fee)
$666/hr- Billing Rate of the Beast's Lawyer
$665.95- Retail Price of the Beast
$710.36- Price of the Beast plus 6.66% Sales Tax
$769.95- Price of the Beast with accessories and replacement soul
$656.66- Wal-Mart Price of the Beast (next week $646.66!)
$55.50- Monthly Payments for Beast, in 12 easy installments
Phillips 666- Gasoline Used by the Beast (regular $6.66/gal)
Route 666- Highway of the Beast (where he gets his kicks!)
666 mph- Speed Limit on the Beast's Highway
6-6-6- Fertilizer of the Beast
666 lb cap- Weight Limit of the Beast
666- Minutes Weekly News Show about the Beast (airs daily from Midnight to 11:06 a.m., on Cable Channel 666, of course)
666o F- Oven Temperature for Cooking "Roast Beast"
666k- Retirement Plan of the Beast
666 mg- Recommended Minimum Daily Requirement of Beast
Lotus 6-6-6- Spreadsheet of the Beast
Word 6.66- Word Processor of the Beast
Windows 666- Bill Gates' Personal Beast Operating System
#666666- Font Color of the Beast (the gray in this table, no kidding!)
i66686- CPU of the Beast
666-I- BMW of the Beast
IAM 666- License Plate Number of the Beast
Formula 666- All Purpose Cleaner of the Beast
WD-666- Spray Lubricant of the Beast
DSM-666- (rev) Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of the Beast
66.6 MHz- FM Radio Station of the Beast
666 KHz- AM Radio Station of the Beast
66 for 6- A Beastly Score for an Innings (in cricket)
6 for 66- Bowling Figures of the Beast
6/6/6- Birthday of the Beast (but in which century?)

--------------------
"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."


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67Firebird
Former political advocate
***

Reged: 12/14/05
Posts: 9244
Loc: Russellville, Mo

Re: Heaven And Hell [Re: SwampFox]
      #159943 - 08/22/08 05:22 PM

That's some beastly thinkin' there Swamp.

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SwampFoxModerator
member
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Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7973
Loc: Mid Mo

Re: Heaven And Hell [Re: 67Firebird]
      #160238 - 08/26/08 12:10 AM

Reverend Boudreaux was the part-time pastor of the local Cajun Baptist Church and Pastor Thibodeaux was the minister of the Covenant Church across the road.

They were both standing by the road pounding a sign into the ground, that read: "Da End is Near! Turn You self Around Now Before It's Too Late!"

As a car sped past them, the driver leaned out his window and yelled, ''You religious nuts!''

From the curve they heard screeching tires and a big splash......

Boudreaux turns to Thibodeaux and asks, ''Do ya tink maybe da sign should jus say BRIDGE OUT''?

--------------------
"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."


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Mel
member
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Reged: 12/14/05
Posts: 6896
Loc: Excelsior Springs, MO

Re: Heaven And Hell [Re: SwampFox]
      #164405 - 10/05/08 05:26 PM

Nicoderm



Two priests are in a Vatican bathroom using the urinals.

One of them looks at the other one's penis and notices there's a Nicoderm patch on it.

He looks at the other priest and says, 'I believe you're supposed to put that patch on your arm or shoulder, not your penis.'

The other one replies, 'It's working just fine. I'm down to two butts a day.'

--------------------
Member DU, Delta

Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names - John Kennedy


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