SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7973
Loc: Mid Mo
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-------------------- "Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7973
Loc: Mid Mo
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-------------------- "Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7973
Loc: Mid Mo
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Video: The Mom Song
-------------------- "Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7973
Loc: Mid Mo
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The mother of a 17-year-old girl was concerned that her daughter was having sex. Worried the girl might become pregnant and adversely impact the family's status, she consulted the family doctor.
The doctor told her that teenagers today were very willful and any attempt to stop the girl would probably result in rebellion. He then told her to arrange for her daughter to be put on birth control and until then, talk to her and give her a box of condoms.
Later that evening, as her daughter was preparing for a date, the woman told her about the situation and handed her a box of condoms. The girl burst out laughing and reached over to hug her mother saying: 'Oh Mom! You don't have to worry about that! I'm dating Susan!'
-------------------- "Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7973
Loc: Mid Mo
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My wife asked me, "Whatcha doin' today?"
I said, "Nothing."
She said, "You did that yesterday."
I said, "I wasn't finished."
-------------------- "Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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67Firebird
Former political advocate
Reged: 12/14/05
Posts: 9244
Loc: Russellville, Mo
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MB2
member
Reged: 12/14/05
Posts: 5722
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7973
Loc: Mid Mo
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-------------------- "Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7973
Loc: Mid Mo
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"Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her. So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of chit."
-------------------- "Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7973
Loc: Mid Mo
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-------------------- "Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7973
Loc: Mid Mo
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My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?" "No," she answered. I then said, "Is that your final answer?" She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying "Yes." So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
-------------------- "Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7973
Loc: Mid Mo
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My wife asked me if a certain dress made her butt look big.
I told her not as much as the dress she wore yesterday.
-------------------- "Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7973
Loc: Mid Mo
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-------------------- "Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7973
Loc: Mid Mo
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"No woman will ever be truly satisfied, because no man will ever have a chocolate penis, that ejaculates money."
-------------------- "Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7973
Loc: Mid Mo
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-------------------- "Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7973
Loc: Mid Mo
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A little old guy is walking around in a supermarket calling out, Crisco, Crissssssscoooo!'
Soon an assistant manager approaches and says, 'Sir, the Crisco is in aisle 3.'
The old guy replies, 'Oh, I'm not looking for the cooking stuff. I'm calling my wife. She's in here somewhere'
The clerk is astonished.
'Your wife's name is Crisco?'
The old guy answers, 'Oh no, no, no. I only call her that when we're out in public.'
'I see,' said the clerk.
'What do you call her at home?'
'Lard ass.'
-------------------- "Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7973
Loc: Mid Mo
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Seen on the back of a bikers jacket;
"If you can read this, the biatch has fallen off again"
-------------------- "Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7973
Loc: Mid Mo
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-------------------- "Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7973
Loc: Mid Mo
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A mexican maid asked the lady of the house for a pay increase. The lady was very upset about his and asked, "Now Maria, why do you want a pay increase?"
Maria replied, "Well senora, there are three reasons. The first is that I iron better than you."
"Who said you iron better than me?"
"Your husband said so."
"Oh, And the second reason?"
Maria said, "The second is that I am a better cook then you."
"Nonsense! Who said you are a better cook than me?"
"Your husband did."
"Oh. And the third reason?"
Maria said, "I am a better lover than you."
By now the lady was furious and demanded, "Did my husband say that as well?"
"No senora, the gardener did!"
-------------------- "Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7973
Loc: Mid Mo
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-------------------- "Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7973
Loc: Mid Mo
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My wife always asks, "What's in the box?" Knowing she wouldn't understand why I needed it, I just stare at her until she rolls her eyes and stomps off. I think that's what holds a marriage together...good communication.
-------------------- "Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7973
Loc: Mid Mo
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-------------------- "Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7973
Loc: Mid Mo
|
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-------------------- "Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
|
SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7973
Loc: Mid Mo
|
|
-------------------- "Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
|
SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7973
Loc: Mid Mo
|
|
-------------------- "Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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