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Stuff You Can't Make Up
      #174340 - 01/25/09 10:42 PM

Walt and Kathy Viggiano of Wichita, Kan., convinced Judge James Burgess to return their four children from foster care in 1999, following their removal the year before because of the unsanitariness of the family's mobile home. Unlike in many such cases, Judge Burgess realized that the Viggianos had not abused the kids, nor did they have alcohol or drug problems. Also, according to police who made the initial investigation, Walt and the kids seemed to speak warmly and lovingly with each other, even though their intra-family banter in the presence of the investigators appeared to be entirely in Klingon (from "Star Trek"). [Wichita Eagle, 7-11-99, 12-2-98]

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Re: Stuff You Can't Make Up [Re: SwampFox]
      #174341 - 01/25/09 10:43 PM

Wrong Place, Wrong Time: Torvald Alexander, 39, was able to chase away the unlucky home invader who hit his apartment on Dec. 31 in Edinburgh, Scotland, according to a BBC News report. The two men inadvertently came face to face just as Alexander was preparing to leave for a New Year's party, dressed in full regalia as Thor, the hammer-wielding Norse god of thunder. Alexander said the burglar took one look at him, turned and climbed hurriedly out a window, sliding down a sloped roof and landing on the ground, where he took off running. [BBC News, 1-2-09]

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Re: Stuff You Can't Make Up [Re: SwampFox]
      #174342 - 01/25/09 10:46 PM

By a 2-1 vote, a Florida appeals court ruled in December that Andrew Craissati could stop paying alimony to his ex-wife. The couple's agreement called for alimony only until she remarried or was "cohabit(ing)" with another person for at least three months, and Craissati pointed out that his ex-wife, recently convicted of a serious DUI offense, is now "cohabiting" with a cellmate in prison. [Palm Beach Post, 12-10-08]

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Re: Stuff You Can't Make Up [Re: SwampFox]
      #174497 - 01/27/09 05:33 AM

Newspaper Claims Car Thief Transformed Into a Goat

One of Nigeria’s biggest daily newspapers reported that police implicated a goat in an attempted automobile theft. In a front-page article on Friday, the Vanguard newspaper said that two men tried to steal a Mazda car two days earlier in Kwara State, with one suspect transforming himself into a goat as vigilantes cornered him.

The paper quoted police spokesman Tunde Mohammed as saying that while one suspect escaped, the other transformed into a goat as he was about to be apprehended.

The newspaper reported that police paraded the goat before journalists, and published a picture of the animal.

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Re: Stuff You Can't Make Up [Re: SwampFox]
      #174598 - 01/27/09 07:51 PM

I have known a couple of women who transformed themselves into pigs overnight....but never a goat..that I can remember.

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Mel
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Re: Stuff You Can't Make Up [Re: Bubba]
      #174711 - 01/28/09 02:05 PM

Quote:

Bubba said:
I have known a couple of women who transformed themselves into pigs overnight....but never a goat..that I can remember.




I suppose that was after you woke up beside them in the morning???

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Re: Stuff You Can't Make Up [Re: Mel]
      #174765 - 01/28/09 07:46 PM

Indeed!

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Re: Stuff You Can't Make Up [Re: Bubba]
      #175019 - 01/31/09 02:51 AM

Police make bust in their own bathroom

Officers say they overheard a man on the phone trying to arrange a drug deal.

By Jackson Holtz, Herald Writer

EVERETT -- Note to drug dealers: The bathroom inside Everett Police Department headquarters isn't a good place to sell dope. It is a good place to get arrested for trying to.

Officers arrested an Everett man Wednesday morning after they overheard him on a cell phone, apparently trying to make a drug deal. The suspect, 24, was inside a bathroom stall at the police department at the time.

"When you walk in the door it says, 'Police,' with the big, blue letters," Everett police Sgt. Robert Goetz said.

Officers overheard the man talking on a cell phone about 8:30 a.m.

A police sergeant who was in the restroom happened to overhear the man placing the call. It appeared the man was desperately trying to arrange drug deals.

"In a bit of disbelief, the sergeant told his partner what he had heard," Goetz said.

Another officer also heard the phone conversation.

Police confronted the man as he left the bathroom. He reportedly thought he was at a probation office, not an Everett police station.

"He asked an officer if he was a probation officer," Goetz said.

The man is under state supervision for an attempted robbery conviction, police said.

The man allegedly admitted he was trying to make drug deals from the bathroom and surrendered a stash of Oxycodone to officers.

Bathroom arrests are common. Politicians and celebrities have been brought down in vice stings inside restrooms across the country.

But this is the first time anyone in the Everett Police Department has heard of someone using the police station bathroom in a drug deal, Goetz said.

"We've heard of other incidences that makes you wonder what somebody might be thinking but it's always interesting when it happens at your agency," Goetz said.

The man was arrested and booked into the Snohomish County Jail for investigation of drug charges.

Reporter Jackson Holtz: 425-339-3437 or jholtz@heraldnet.com.

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Re: Stuff You Can't Make Up [Re: SwampFox]
      #175821 - 02/07/09 01:33 AM

Coons take over Whitehouse


When raccoons attack
Posted: 05:50 PM ET

From CNN Ticker Producer Alexander Mooney


One large raccoon and several smaller ones have invaded the White House grounds.
(CNN) — In the ongoing battle between a pack of particularly ambitious raccoons and the White House groundskeepers, the raccoons appear to be winning.

According to White House spokesman Robert Gibbs, no raccoons have been caught on the White House grounds since the band of intruders were first spotted roaming the premises earlier this month.

The National Parks service set up several traps around the White House lawn earlier this week after determining one large raccoon and several smaller ones were causing trouble around the West Wing and the Executive Mansion.

If and when the raccoons are caught they will be released into the wild, the National Park Service has said.

But the traps, which include peanut butter and apples as bait, have yet to allure any of the pesky mammals.

"No raccoons that I know of have been caught or disbursed into other places in Washington," said Gibbs.

The White House press secretary also said he would be of little use in the hunt: "There are a few that roam in my backyard, so I don't have any particular tips."

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Re: Stuff You Can't Make Up [Re: SwampFox]
      #175918 - 02/09/09 12:07 AM

It's Supposed to Be the Other Way Around: On the South Boulder (Colo.) Creek Trail in January, as a woman was standing beside her bicycle, a cow wandered by and tipped her over (and then stepped on her legs before meandering off). [MSNBC-AP, 1-20-08]

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Re: Stuff You Can't Make Up [Re: SwampFox]
      #176495 - 02/13/09 05:09 AM

Emergency Camel

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Re: Stuff You Can't Make Up [Re: SwampFox]
      #176622 - 02/14/09 07:42 PM

BARNSTABLE, Mass. – A Massachusetts man who walked into a police station and asked for help removing a pair of handcuffs dangling from one wrist ended up wearing another pair instead.

Barnstable, Mass., police Sgt. Sean Sweeney said 21-year-old Allahmanamjad (el-ah-MAN'-a-jahd) Barbel showed up Tuesday claiming he couldn't get off the cuffs his sister slipped on him at a child's birthday party.

Police ran Barbel's name through the state warrant system and discovered he had outstanding warrants on charges of driving with a suspended license, leaving the scene of an accident, threatening to commit a crime and making annoying phone calls.

Sweeney said police removed the cuffs — then slipped on a new pair to arrest him.

They never confirmed his story about the party.

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Re: Stuff You Can't Make Up [Re: SwampFox]
      #176715 - 02/15/09 09:04 PM

In October, five employees of the health-care provider New Zealand Care resigned when the company ordered them to provide (as routine service to developmentally disabled patients who request it) assistance in masturbating. [Nelson (N.Z.) Mail, 10-21-08]

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Re: Stuff You Can't Make Up [Re: SwampFox]
      #176716 - 02/15/09 09:06 PM

London's Gymbox in Bank athletic club, recognizing that lifting weights can be a boring way to exercise, introduced "human barbells" recently, hiring five men of various sizes (including two dwarfs) that customers could use for weights instead of the iron. One advantage of the humans is that, on request, they shout encouragement to the customer with each lift. The largest of the five is a 37-year-old, 340-pound man. [Daily Telegraph, 1-22-09]

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Re: Stuff You Can't Make Up [Re: SwampFox]
      #177339 - 02/21/09 04:11 PM



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Re: Stuff You Can't Make Up [Re: SwampFox]
      #177536 - 02/24/09 04:19 AM

Details of how police in the Irish Republic finally caught up with the country's most reckless driver have emerged, the Irish Times reports.


He had been wanted from counties Cork to Cavan after racking up scores of speeding tickets and parking fines.

However, each time the serial offender was stopped he managed to evade justice by giving a different address.

But then his cover was blown.

It was discovered that the man every member of the Irish police's rank and file had been looking for - a Mr Prawo Jazdy - wasn't exactly the sort of prized villain whose apprehension leads to an officer winning an award.

In fact he wasn't even human.

"Prawo Jazdy is actually the Polish for driving licence and not the first and surname on the licence," read a letter from June 2007 from an officer working within the Garda's traffic division.

"Having noticed this, I decided to check and see how many times officers have made this mistake.

"It is quite embarrassing to see that the system has created Prawo Jazdy as a person with over 50 identities."

The officer added that the "mistake" needed to be rectified immediately and asked that a memo be circulated throughout the force.

In a bid to avoid similar mistakes being made in future relevant guidelines were also amended.

And if nothing else is learnt from this driving-related debacle, Irish police officers should now know at least two words of Polish.

As for the seemingly elusive Mr Prawo Jazdy, he has presumably become a cult hero among Ireland's second largest immigrant population.

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Re: Stuff You Can't Make Up [Re: SwampFox]
      #177966 - 02/27/09 03:06 PM

Patent No. 5,713,081, issued Feb 3, 1998:Pantyhose Garment with Spare Leg





A hosiery item including a panty member having three absorbent crotch members provided therein, each absorbent crotch member having a pocket formed therein; and three leg portions secured to the panty member in a manner such that an absorbent crotch member is positioned between any two leg portions, each leg portion having a leg insertion opening in connection with an interior of the panty member.

In use the wearer inserts her legs into two of the leg openings in the conventional fashion of donning a pair of pantyhose. The remaining unused leg portion is then gathered and the toe end tucked into the pocket of one of the absorbent crotch members. If a run or hole develops in one of the leg portions being worn, the leg of the wearer can be easily and rapidly removed from the damaged leg portion and placed into the undamaged spare leg portion. The damaged leg portion is then gathered, folded and tucked into a pocket of one of the absorbent crotch members as wearer to select and use any two of the three leg portions for use.

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Re: Stuff You Can't Make Up [Re: SwampFox]
      #177970 - 02/27/09 03:34 PM



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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."


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Re: Stuff You Can't Make Up [Re: SwampFox]
      #178178 - 03/01/09 10:48 PM

The $500,000 top prize in Alaska's January statewide lottery, to benefit the organization Standing Together Against Rape, for victims of sexual assault, was won by Alec Ahsoak, 53, who coincidentally is a twice-convicted sex offender. [Anchorage Daily News, 1-11-09]

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Re: Stuff You Can't Make Up [Re: SwampFox]
      #181538 - 03/29/09 04:04 PM

London's Royal Opera House announced in February that its next biennial original production will be a libretto based on the life of the late Anna Nicole Smith. [Daily Telegraph, 2-12-09]

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Re: Stuff You Can't Make Up [Re: SwampFox]
      #181541 - 03/29/09 04:11 PM

In February, Britain's Southwark Crown Court ordered so-called "countess" Eida Beguinua to give back the equivalent of $1.2 million to investors who had believed her story that she could recover treasures in the Philippines but needed money for expenses. Despite the setback, she told the judge that she was sticking with her story and begged him for more time to look for the "22 caves," protected by "10,000" guards, containing tons of jewelry and gold worth "300 followed by 41 zeros" (presumably in British pounds). [BBC News, 2-16-09]

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Re: Stuff You Can't Make Up [Re: SwampFox]
      #182193 - 04/03/09 03:39 AM



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Re: Stuff You Can't Make Up [Re: SwampFox]
      #182915 - 04/12/09 03:14 AM

Contamination of Vancouver creek traced to state agency
Friday, April 10, 2009 4:22 PM PDT
By The Associated Press

VANCOUVER, Wash. — Thirteen years after Washington state’s environmental agency found a creek severely polluted, the contamination has been traced back to the agency’s regional office.

City workers discovered this week that a sewer line from the building housing the regional offices of the state Department of Ecology and Department of Fish and Game, and a small U.S. Army Corps of Engineers contingent, was mistakenly connected to a storm water runoff system, rather than a municipal sewer main.


Daily News Online

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Re: Stuff You Can't Make Up [Re: SwampFox]
      #183390 - 04/16/09 05:14 AM

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 15, 2009

Hairdresser Turned A Would Be Robber Into Her Sex Slave

A Russian lady from the small town of Meshchovsk is making Fileunderi News: The hairdresser turned a would be robber into her Sex Slave.

28-year-old Olga was getting ready to close up shop when a man entered the salon armed with a gun. Frightened employees and customers complied with his request for money. Unfortunately for 32-year-old Viktor, the would be robber...Olga the shop owner and yellow belt in karate knocked him to the floor. She then tied him up with a hair dryer cord. (kinky!)

Olga put Viktor in the utility room and told the other employees to go ahead and leave; she would call the police. Did Olga call the police? No, Olga went into the utility room and told Viktor to remove his underpants, or she would call the police.

Olga then raped Viktor.

For three days.

She chained Viktor to a radiator with pink furry handcuffs (kinky!) and fed him Viagra to keep him going.

For three days.

Olga finally released Viktor with the parting words...“Get out of my sight!”

Viktor went straight to the hospital with injured genitals and then paid a visit to the police. The police then came to get Olga. She had this to say:

“What a bastard. Yes, we had sex a couple of times. But I’ve bought him new jeans, gave him food and even gave him 1,000 roubles (around $ 30) when he left.”

Both Olga and Viktor face possible prison terms. And Viktor needs to find a new profession.

(Image Source:http://life.ru)

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Re: Stuff You Can't Make Up [Re: SwampFox]
      #184124 - 04/24/09 08:15 PM



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