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Re: Flatulence And Other Bottom Of The Pyle Stuff [Re: SwampFox]
      #177056 - 02/19/09 05:01 AM



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Re: Flatulence And Other Bottom Of The Pyle Stuff [Re: SwampFox]
      #177123 - 02/19/09 01:22 PM



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Re: Flatulence And Other Bottom Of The Pyle Stuff [Re: SwampFox]
      #177436 - 02/23/09 02:21 AM

Though India is recognized as a world leader in promoting the health benefits of urine, its dominance will be assured by the end of the year when a cow-urine-based soft drink comes to market. Om Prakash, chief of the Cow Protection Department of the RSS organization (India's largest Hindu nationalist group), trying to reassure a Times of London reporter in February, promised, "It won't smell like urine and will be tasty, too," noting that medicinal herbs would be added and toxins removed. In addition to improved health, he said, India needs a domestic (and especially Hindu) beverage to compete with the foreign influence of Coca-Cola and Pepsi. [The Times, 2-11-09]

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Re: Flatulence And Other Bottom Of The Pyle Stuff [Re: SwampFox]
      #178179 - 03/01/09 10:53 PM

The Baltimore Sun reported in June 1993 that New York City artist Todd Alden had recently asked 400 art collectors worldwide to send him samples of their feces so he could offer them for sale in personalized tins. Said Alden, "Scatology is emerging as an increasingly significant part of artistic inquiry in the 1990s." A 30-gram tin of the feces of Italian artist Piero Manzoni, canned in 1961, sold just before that for $75,000. Subsequent to this story, News of the Weird periodically tracked the fluctuating price of the several Manzoni tins, including Britain's Tate Gallery's 2002 purchase for $38,000 (which was over 100 times the price of an equal amount of gold). A colleague of Manzoni revealed in 2007 that his tins probably contained just plaster, but a Tate curator pointed out the irrelevance of the physical content of art. [Baltimore Evening Sun, 6-4-93; Sydney Morning Herald, 7-1-02; Reuters, 6-12-07]

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Re: Flatulence And Other Bottom Of The Pyle Stuff [Re: SwampFox]
      #178255 - 03/02/09 12:49 PM

From a guy called Worriedman on pickled eggs.



Ah, revenge pills!

When I first left TX, and came to work for my present firm, they had a project going in Tulsa, OK for Whirlpool. PM in charge was not a real go getter, and the completion date was fast approaching, with lots of work left to go. Home office assigned me to pinch hit and get it back on track. Owners Rep. was a prick, (loved to hear himself talk), and his two henchmen no better. Nit picky bastids who could read more into a contract than a group of Chicago lawyers. I circled the wagons, spent a lot of time on the ground, and pulled off the completion date. Punch list meetings whowever, were a blood bath, Owner wanting to add a bunch of “nice to have’s” at the end, we had several serious discussions of what was in the contract and what was not. It got a little personal.

Final inspection of the press tunnel was scheduled for a Friday. Have to set the stage, 20’ wide, 22’ deep tunnel where the presses that stamped out the parts for the dishwashers were anchored, and all the scrap fell down and was conveyed to the end. Lots of structure, lots of noise.

Thursday night, the young supt. and I went to dinner and I got prepped up. A dozen pickled eggs, a couple of Big Dog pickled sausages, large bowl of pinto beans, with a side of lima beans, a double dose of iron tablets, all washed down with a large quantity of beer. Explained to him my tack for getting through the inspection quick, he thought I had lost my mind.

Next day as we entered the tunnel, all that clackity clack going on, you could barley hear the guy standing next to you shout. Every bolt was checked for torque, foundations measured for levelness. I told my supt. to watch and learn from a Pro, sidled up to ol’ Bob and let one rip, covered by the press sounds. They all looked at each other for a second, discomfort apparent, but nobody said anything. This tunnel ran about 600’ across the factory, we hade figured that “Windy” Bob would make the inspection last at least 4 hours. Presses were spaced 60’ apart; at each location they would set up their laser and begin to take measurements. Once I got past the first slurry of pickled eggs and down to the iron tablets and Big Dogs, the aroma was staggering. My supt. was in tears, who could say the real reason, whether from the looks on the faces of the Whirlpool big wigs, or from the olfactory stress he was undergoing. I would lag behind the group till battery was charged again, and just prior to feeling like I was going to explode, would catch up to make a point, and would chit down my leg and wink at my supt. Repeat!

Bob asked if I smelled anything untoward, I said no, nothing out of the ordinary, maybe there was dead rat somewhere. told him the equipment setting crew provided by Whirlpool tended to be pigs and leave their garbage from lunch laying around, resulting a rat infestation, and we had put out some poison.

About a third of the way down the tunnel, Bob opined that we needed to check and see if we had accounted for all the hands, he was right sure that dead rats could not be producing the stench, and there must be a wetback or two sandwiched among the foundations. Had an old guy with them, never forget him, Errol Van Buskirk, he was way up in years, a little frail to boot, we had to help him out at one of the emergency shafts, he threw up and nearly passed this vale of tears after one of the more serious applications of flatulence.

Being the set up of presses and conveyors was somewhat repetitive, the powers that be decided we had seen enough, we were less than a third of the way through the tunnel. Bob allowed as to how this was all pretty mundane, and any irregularities could be handled in the Warranty period anyways. He did suggest that we up the exhaust fan CFM, saying that there were not enough air exchanges occurring, and that he felt the maintenance staff need to add the press pit to their “confined space’ log. Van Buskirk suggested perusal by cadaver dogs.

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Re: Flatulence And Other Bottom Of The Pyle Stuff [Re: SwampFox]
      #178846 - 03/08/09 12:47 AM



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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."


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Re: Flatulence And Other Bottom Of The Pyle Stuff [Re: SwampFox]
      #178936 - 03/09/09 05:16 AM

A man who is having gas problems explains to his doctor that every time he farts it sounds like Honda.

The doctor does an examination and finds nothing wrong with the man. As a last resort he looks into the patient’s mouth and finally spots the problem. “I’m sorry, you’ll have to go to a dentist for your problem.”

So the man goes to see his dentist. After a quick exam, the dentist announces that the man has an abscess. “No problem, I’ll have you fit and without your embarrassing problem in a jiffy,” says the dentist.

Sure enough, the man’s problem disappears and he no longer makes farts that sound like a Honda. The next week the man calls up the dentist and thanks him for all he’s done for him. But before he hangs up he asks the dentist how he knew the problem was caused by an abscess.

The dentist replies, “It’s easy.

Everyone knows that an abscess makes the fart go Honda."


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Re: Flatulence And Other Bottom Of The Pyle Stuff [Re: MB2]
      #178959 - 03/09/09 01:05 PM

Mel will like that one.

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Re: Flatulence And Other Bottom Of The Pyle Stuff [Re: SwampFox]
      #179593 - 03/15/09 03:36 AM

"This adds an extra dimension people will appreciate," said Hobart, Australia, mayor Rob Valentine in December, announcing that at the annual Taste Festival later that month, performance artists would entertain in the restrooms. According to Valentine, the performers would also supply soap and towels and would "recite (a) favorite poem, or tell ... a story" while concert-goers "used the facilities." [The Mercury (Hobart), 12-23-08]

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Re: Flatulence And Other Bottom Of The Pyle Stuff [Re: SwampFox]
      #180216 - 03/21/09 09:21 PM

Dog Chit Soup

By Poletax


Yeppers,you read that right,dawg chitt soup.
Our story begins with some overstuffed galoot just letting the dawgs out onto the patio when they wanted out.Usually the galoot will go with them,on out to the grassy backyard.
Well thru lazyness and the rain and all,our galoot just put up with the dawg chitt out on the brick patio.
The first dry sunny day,TOWMBO got tired of waiting on the galoot to clean that chitt up.
She proceeded to use her store bought poop-scooper and busied herself with putting the unwanted tirds and other flecks of chitt into a big coffee can.
Said can was left on a lil table out by the back gate.
Well, it took to rainin some more Thursday and Friday round here.Wouldn't ya know there was no lid on the coffee can and ,well,between the chitt and the rain,the can was darn near full.
TOWMBO proceeded to snap the lid onto the pickling mix after her nasty discovery
Tuesday is trash day and she was gonna set it out in the alley.
Well,this Saturday Morning I was blessed by a visit from an Azz from up the alley.
I was out dickin around,sneaking a smoke and John started talking to me from the alley.I let him in the back gate to point out stuff I was doing in the yard to make it better than his.
He spotted the can on the table and picked it up.
Before I could say a word,he felt the weight and curiousity got the best of him.
John pulled the lid off of Pandoras Box.
All Hell took off to a running start.
The odor was so stout that I could damn near see it.
Of course the revulsion John was exibiting was expected.
What happened next wadn't.
John dropped this WMD and it hit the edge of the lil table.
Most of the contents ejected onto Johns shirt and jeans.I near pissed meself.
My neighbors mouth had a white ring around it.He looked to be immersed into shock.He was speechless and I was too.I've never seen nothing like that and I'd seen some peculiar things.
I offered to turn the garden hose on him,but he gave me a look like I run over his dawg.
He went stomping off up the alley.Maybe he won't be back for awhile.

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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."


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Re: Flatulence And Other Bottom Of The Pyle Stuff [Re: SwampFox]
      #180486 - 03/24/09 05:01 AM

Japanese astronaut tests stink-free underwear.

By Irene Klotz Irene Klotz – Mon Mar 23, 3:39 pm ET


HOUSTON (Reuters) – Teen-age boys, are you tired of embarrassing questions about when you last changed underwear? Japan's space scientists may have just the answer -- a line of odour-free underwear and casual clothing.

Koichi Wakata, the first Japanese astronaut to live on the International Space Station, is testing the clothes, called J-ware and created by textile experts at Japan Women's University in Tokyo.

"He can wear his trunks (underwear) more than a week," said Koji Yanagawa, an official with the Japanese Aerospace Exploration Agency.

Wakata's clothes, developed by researcher Yoshiko Taya, are designed to kill bacteria, absorb water, insulate the body and dry quickly. They also are flame-resistant and anti-static, not to mention comfortable and stylish.

Japanese astronaut Takao Doi gave the clothes a trial run during a shuttle mission last year. Even after a vigorous workout, Doi's clothes stayed dry.

"The other astronauts become very sweaty, but he doesn't have any sweat. He didn't need to hang his clothes to dry," Yanagawa said.

J-ware should reduce the amount of clothing that needs to be sent to the space station, which has no laundry facilities. Toting cargo into orbit is expensive, so having clothes that stay fresh for weeks at a time should result in significant savings.

The Japanese space agency plans to make the clothes available to NASA and its other space station partners once development is complete. A commercial line also is in the offing.

Taya also is working with clothing manufacturers Toray Industries and Goldwin. on clothes that have a microscopically thin chemical layer in the materials.

Wakata, who arrived at the station last week for a three-month stay, said on Sunday that the clothes appear to be working.

"Nobody has complained, so I think it's so far, so good," Wakata said.

(Editing by Jane Sutton and Cynthia Osterman)

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Re: Flatulence And Other Bottom Of The Pyle Stuff [Re: SwampFox]
      #180695 - 03/25/09 03:32 AM



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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."


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Re: Flatulence And Other Bottom Of The Pyle Stuff [Re: SwampFox]
      #182708 - 04/09/09 03:51 AM

AP-WACO, Texas – A man was stabbed after causing a stink — literally — in a motel room while eating with a friend, police said. Five men from the Houston area were sharing a Waco motel room Tuesday night, and two were inside the room eating when one had a flatulence problem, Waco police Officer Steve Anderson said. One man was so upset about the gas that he threw a large knife at him, cutting his leg, and then stabbed him in the chest, Anderson said.

The 35-year-old man was transported to a Waco hospital, where he was treated for what appeared to be non-life threatening injuries, Anderson said.

Jose Braule Ramirez, 33, of Houston, was charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon, police said. He was arraigned Wednesday and was being held in the McLennan County Jail on $15,000 bond and placed on an immigration hold, according to jail records. He cannot be released, even if he posts bond, until authorities verify he is in the country legally.

A jail spokeswoman who declined to give her name said she was not allowed to release information on whether Ramirez had an attorney.

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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."


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Re: Flatulence And Other Bottom Of The Pyle Stuff [Re: SwampFox]
      #182913 - 04/12/09 02:29 AM

Two competitors vying to sell the same type iPhone application (arrays of sounds of breaking wind) are embroiled in a trademark dispute, according to a March Denver Post report. The developers of Air-O-Matic's "Pull My Finger" claim that InfoMedia's "iFart" application improperly uses "pull my finger" in its own marketing. InfoMedia said that the phrase is generic and not trademarkable. [Denver Post, 3-27-09]

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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."


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Re: Flatulence And Other Bottom Of The Pyle Stuff [Re: SwampFox]
      #183527 - 04/17/09 04:29 AM



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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."


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Re: Flatulence And Other Bottom Of The Pyle Stuff [Re: SwampFox]
      #183528 - 04/17/09 04:33 AM



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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."


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Re: Flatulence And Other Bottom Of The Pyle Stuff [Re: SwampFox]
      #183651 - 04/19/09 01:37 AM

A social worker from a big City in Massachusetts recently transferred to the Mountains of North Carolina and Georgia and was on the first tour of her new territory when she came upon the tiniest cabin she had ever seen in her life.
Intrigued, she went up and knocked on the door. 'Anybody home?' she asked.

'Yep,' came a kid's voice through the door.

'Is your father there?' asked the social worker.

'Pa? Nope, he left afore Ma came in,' said the kid.

'Well, is your mother there?’ persisted the social worker.

'Ma? Nope, she left just afore I got here,' said the kid.

'But,' protested the social worker, 'are you never together as a family?'

'Sure, but not here,' said the kid through the door. 'This is the Outhouse!'

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Re: Flatulence And Other Bottom Of The Pyle Stuff [Re: SwampFox]
      #183712 - 04/20/09 01:45 AM



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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."


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Re: Flatulence And Other Bottom Of The Pyle Stuff [Re: SwampFox]
      #184319 - 04/27/09 03:26 AM

Video: Elrond Interruptus

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Re: Flatulence And Other Bottom Of The Pyle Stuff [Re: SwampFox]
      #185073 - 05/06/09 12:52 PM



--------------------
"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."


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Re: Flatulence And Other Bottom Of The Pyle Stuff [Re: SwampFox]
      #185074 - 05/06/09 12:56 PM

Why is a gals butt hole like a 9 volt battery?

Because you know you shouldn't, but you will eventually touch it with your tongue.

--------------------
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Re: Flatulence And Other Bottom Of The Pyle Stuff [Re: SwampFox]
      #185116 - 05/07/09 03:48 AM



--------------------
"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."


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Re: Flatulence And Other Bottom Of The Pyle Stuff [Re: SwampFox]
      #185505 - 05/14/09 05:06 AM



--------------------
"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."


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Re: Flatulence And Other Bottom Of The Pyle Stuff [Re: SwampFox]
      #185506 - 05/14/09 05:22 AM

India: Rural Villagers Say, “No Toilet, No Bride.”

Ben Arnoldy, Christian Science Monitor, May 12, 2009

In rural India, having a toilet has become an issue of a woman’s right. Many homes don’t feature plumbing because men, in particular, question the expense—even the desirability—of indoor facilities.

That’s changing rapidly in the state of Haryana, where the government is putting up funds and village women are leaning on their men to get with the program. Their slogan: “No toilet, no bride.”

The combined effort has helped boost the number of rural homes with toilets to 60 percent, up from less than 5 percent four years ago, says Kashi Nath Jha, the Haryana local chairman of the sanitation organization Sulabh International.

{snip} [One] bride has already divorced her groom when she learned that his family lied about having a toilet, says Anil Kumar Chhikara, one of the village leaders. Another young woman, Monica, says of any potential suitor, “I’ll be asking him to build a toilet.” And if he doesn’t? “Then I won’t marry him.”

Women have more clout these days in the village, says Mr. Chhikara, because years of selective-sex abortions have left more bachelors than potential brides.

--------------------
"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."


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Re: Flatulence And Other Bottom Of The Pyle Stuff [Re: SwampFox]
      #185549 - 05/14/09 01:09 PM



--------------------
"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."


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