SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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Woman, 78, sues to get back in senior center card game
By BARRY ADAMS 608-252-6148 badams@madison.com
A 78-year-old Monroe woman who was banned from a city-owned senior center in Monroe after complaining about how a card game was being scored filed a federal lawsuit against the facility, alleging the center violated her free speech rights and that its code of conduct is vague and overly broad.
Edith Milestone wants a jury trial on the matter that came to a head in October. That’s when she was issued a letter by Tammy Derrickson, director of the Behring Senior Center, saying Milestone didn’t treat others with respect, used abusive language and engaged in physically threatening conduct, all of which violated the center’s code of conduct.
In the Oct. 24 letter, Derrickson said Milestone’s conduct during the card party the day before and in “numerous other incidents” led to the ban.
“I regret that I was forced to take this action, but feel you have left me with no other choice,” Derrickson wrote.
All participants in senior center programs are required to follow the code of conduct, which is posted on every floor of the center, Derrickson said in the letter.
Derrickson said Thursday she was unaware of the lawsuit and declined comment. Monroe city attorney Rex Ewald could not be reached.
The Monroe senior citizens board that oversees the senior center in December affirmed Derrickson’s decision but said it would consider reinstating Milestone if she could prove she completed an anger management program.
Milestone, according to the lawsuit, has been a longtime user of the center and has participated in a number of programs.
The lawsuit contends the center’s actions violated Milestone’s 1st and 14th Amendment rights guaranteeing freedom of expression and due process, respectively.
In addition to a trial, the lawsuit asks that the code of conduct be thrown out and Milestone be awarded compensation.
“She, in my view, is entitled to (compensation), but her main goal is to be able to enjoy the senior center,” said her attorney, Ray Clausen of Madison.
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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A minister decided to do something a little different one Sunday morning.
He said 'Today, in church, I am going to say a single word and you are going to help me preach.
Whatever single word I say, I want you to sing whatever hymn that comes to your mind.'
The pastor shouted out 'CROSS.'
Immediately the congregation started singing in unison, 'THE OLD RUGGED CROSS..'
The pastor hollered out 'GRACE.' The congregation began to sing 'AMAZING GRACE,?how sweet the sound.'
The pastor said 'POWER.' The congregation sang 'THERE IS POWER IN THE BLOOD.'
The Pastor said 'SEX' The congregation fell into total silence.
Everyone was in shock. They all nervously began to look around at each other afraid to say anything.
Then all of a sudden, way from in the back of the church,
A little old 87 year old grandmother stood up and began to sing 'PRECIOUS MEMORIES.'
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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For the first time in many years, a an old man traveled from his rural town to the city to attend a movie. After buying his ticket, he stopped at the concession stand to purchase some popcorn.
Handing the attendant $5.00, he couldn't help but comment, "The last time I came to the movies, popcorn was only 15 cents."
"Well, sir," the attendant replied with a grin, "You're really going to enjoy yourself. We have sound now.."
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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Another year has passed
and we're all a little older.
Last summer felt hotter
and winter seems much colder.
There was a time not long ago
when life was quite a blast.
Now I fully understand
about 'Living in the Past'
We used to go to weddings,
football games and lunches.
Now we go to funeral homes,
and after-funeral brunches.
We used to have hangovers,
from parties that were gay.
Now we suffer body aches
and while the night away.
We used to go out dining,
and couldn't get our fill.
Now we ask for doggie bags,
come home and take a pill.
We used to often travel
to places near and far.
Now we get sore asses
from riding in the car.
We used to go to nightclubs
and drink a little booze.
Now we stay home at night and
watch the evening news.
That my friend is how life is
And now my tale is told
So, enjoy each day and live it up...
before you're too damned old!
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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Groups of Americans were traveling by tour bus through Holland .
As they stopped at a cheese farm, a young guide led them through the process of cheese making, explaining that goat's milk was used. She showed the group a lovely hillside where many goats were grazing.
'These' she explained, 'Are the older goats put out to pasture when they no longer produce.' She then asked, 'What do you do in America with your old goats?'
A spry old gentleman answered, 'They send us on bus tours!
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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So you're a senior citizen and the Government says no health care for you! What do you do? Our plan gives anyone 65 years or older a Gun and 4 bullets. Your are allowed to shoot 2 senators and 2 representatives. Of course this means you will be sent to prison where you will get 3 meals a day a roof over your head and all the health care you need! New teeth no problem. Need glasses great. New hip, knees, kidney, lungs, heart? All covered. And who will be paying for all of this? The same Government that just told you that you are too old for health care. Plus, because you are a prisoner you don't have to pay any income tax's any more!
What a country!
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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After his examination, the doctor said to the elderly man: 'You appear to be in good health. Do you have any medical concerns you would like to ask me about?'
'In fact, I do.' said the old man. "After I have sex, I am usually cold and chilly; and then, after I have sex with her the second time, I am usually hot and sweaty."
After examining his elderly wife, the doctor said: 'Everything appears to be fine. Do you have any medical concerns that you would like to discuss with me?'
The lady replied that she had no questions or concerns.
The doctor then said to her: 'Your husband had an unusual concern. He claims that he is usually cold and chilly after having sex with you the first time; and then hot and sweaty after the Second time. Do you know why?'
"Oh, that stupid old bastard''
she replied. 'That's because the first time is usually in January, and the second time is in August.”
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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Bubba
strangesly aroused
Reged: 12/14/05
Posts: 3828
Loc: Lemmingstan
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I can relate!!!  
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God Bless our Troops!
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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An elderly Scottish Jew decides to take it a little easier and take up golf. So he puts his name down at the local club. After a week he receives a message that his application has been turned down. So he goes down to the club to enquire why.
Secretary: "You are aware that this is a Scottish golf club?"
Scot: "Aye, but I am as Scottish as you are, Jock."
Secretary: "This means that on formal occasions we wear kilts."
Scot: "Aye, so do I."
Secretary: "You are aware, that we wear nothing under our kilts?"
Scot: "Aye, neither do I."
Secretary: "But you are a Jew?"
Scot: "Aye, I be that."
Secretary: "So, you are circumcised?"
Scot: "Aye, I be that too."
Secretary: "I am terribly sorry, but the members just would not feel comfortable with that."
Scot: "Ach, away wi' ye, man. I know that you have to be a Protestant to march with the Orangemen. And I know that you have to be a Catholic to become a Knight of Columbus. But this is the first time I heard that you have to be a complete prick to join a golf club."
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
Edited by SwampFox (08/29/11 12:56 PM)
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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I pointed to two drunks sitting across the bar from us and told my friend, " That's us in 10 years."
He said, "that's a mirror, dip-chit!"
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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SENIOR ALERT!
To help save the economy, the Government will announce next month that the Immigration Department will start deporting seniors (instead of illegals) in order to lower Old Age Pension and Health Care costs.
Older people are easier to catch and will not remember how to get back home.
I started to cry when I thought of you. Then it dawned on me ...
Oh, crap...I'll see you on the bus!
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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Was working in the yard when a late model Buick came crashing through my hedge and onto the front lawn. I rushed to help the (very) elderly looking lady driver out of the car, and sat her down on a lawn chair. It seemed she was neither hurt nor fazed by the mishap.
"You appear quite elderly to be driving." I said
"Well, yes I am (rather proudly). I'll be 97 next month, and I am now old enough that I don't even need a driver's license anymore.
With arched eyebrows - "Don't need a driver's license anymore?"
"Oh, no. The last time I went to my doctor, he examined me and asked if I had a driver's license. I told him yes and handed it to him. He took scissors out of the drawer, cut the license into pieces, and threw them in the wastebasket, saying, 'You won't need this anymore,' so I thanked him and left!"
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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A group of 15 year old boys discussed where they should meet for a burger. It was agreed they would meet at the McDonald's next to Captain Jack's Seafood Grille because they only had six dollars among them, they could ride their bikes, and that cute girl in Social Studies lived on the same street and they might see her.
Ten years later, the group of now 25 year old guys, discussed where they should meet for dinner. It was agreed they would meet at Captain Jack's Seafood Grille because the beer was cheap, the bar had free snacks, the house band was good, there was no cover charge, and there were a lot of cute girls.
Ten years later, at 35 years of age, the group discussed where they should meet for dinner—Captain Jack's Seafood Grille because the booze was good, it was near their gym, and, if they went late enough, there wouldn't be too many whiny little kids.
Ten years later, at 45, the group discussed where they should meet for dinner—Captain Jack's Seafood Grille because the martinis were big and the waitresses were really good looking.
Ten years later, now 55, —Captain Jack's Seafood Grille because the prices were reasonable, they have a nice wine list, and fish is good for your cholesterol.
Ten years later, at 65 years—Captain Jack's Seafood Grille because the lighting was good and they have an early bird special.
Ten years later, at 75 years of age, — Captain Jack's Seafood Grille because the food was not too spicy and the restaurant was handicapped accessible.
Ten years later, at 85 years of age, the group discussed where they should meet for dinner. It was agreed they would meet at Captain Jack's Seafood Grille because they had never been there before.
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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With all the new technology regarding fertility, recently a 75-year-old friend of mine was able to give birth. When she was discharged from the hospital and went home, I went to visit.
May I see the new baby?' I asked
'Not yet,' She said 'I'll make coffee and we can visit for a while first.'
Thirty minutes had passed, and I asked, 'May I see the new baby now?'
'No, not yet,' She said.
After another few minutes had elapsed,
I asked again, 'May I see the baby now?'
'No, not yet,' replied my friend.
Growing very impatient, I asked, 'Well, when can I see the baby?'
'WHEN HE CRIES!' she told me.
'WHEN HE CRIES?' I demanded. 'Why do I have to wait until he CRIES?'
'BECAUSE I FORGOT WHERE I PUT HIM, O.K.?!!'
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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The rain was pouring and there was a big puddle in front of the pub.
A ragged old man was standing there with a rod and hanging a string into the puddle.
A tipsy-looking, curious gentleman came over to him and asked what he was doing.
'Fishing,' the old man said simply.
'Poor old fool,' the gentleman thought and he invited the ragged old man to a drink in the pub.
As he felt he should start some conversation while they were sipping their whisky,
The gentleman asked, ‘And how many have you caught?'
‘You're the eighth,' the old man answered.
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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50 years together…….
Their three kids, all successful, agreed to a Sunday dinner in their honor.
"Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad," gushed Son No. 1. 'Sorry I'm running late. I had an emergency at the hospital with a patient, you know how it is, and I didn't have time to get you a gift.
"Not to worry," said the father. "Important thing is we're all together today.
Son No. 2 arrived.
"You and Mom look great, Dad, I just flew in from LA between depositions & didn't have time to shop for you."
"It's nothing," said the father. "We're glad you were able to come."
Just then the daughter arrived.
"Hello and happy anniversary! Sorry, but my boss is sending me out of town & I was really busy packing so I didn't have time to get you anything."
After they had finished dessert, the father said, "There's something your mother and I have wanted to tell you for a long time.
"You see, we were really poor, but we managed to send each of you to college. Through the years your mother and I knew we loved each other very much, but we just never found the time to get married."
The three children gasped and said, "WHAT? You mean we're bastards?"
“Yep”, said the father, “Cheap ones too” !!!!
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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People think I go out of my way to piss them off.
Trust me. It's not out of my way at all.
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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An elderly widow and widower were dating for about five years.
The man finally decided to ask her to marry. She immediately said "yes".
The next morning when he awoke, he couldn't remember what her answer was!
"Was she happy? I think so, wait, no, she looked at me funny..."
After about an hour of trying to remember to no avail, he got on the telephone and gave her a call.
Embarrassed, he admitted that he didn't remember her answer to the marriage proposal.
"Oh", she said, "I'm so glad you called.
I remembered saying 'yes' to someone, but I couldn't remember who it was.
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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At a nursing home a group of seniors were sitting around talking about all their ailments. "My arms have gotten so weak I can hardly lift this cup of coffee," said one.
"Yes, I know," said another. "My cataracts are so bad I can't even see my coffee."
"I couldn't even mark an 'X' at election time, my hands are so crippled,"volunteered a third.
"What? Speak up! What? I can't hear you! said a fourth.
"I can't turn my head because of the arthritis in my neck," said a fifth, to which several nodded weakly in agreement.
"My blood pressure pills make me so dizzy I can hardly walk!" exclaimed another.
"I forget where I am, and where I'm going," said an elderly gent.
"I guess that's the price we pay for getting old," winced an old man as he slowly shook his head. The others nodded in agreement.
"Well, count your blessings," said one woman cheerfully, "thankfully, we can all still drive."
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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On the first day, God created the dog and said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years."
The dog said, "That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?"
And God saw it was good.
On the second day, God created the monkey and said, "Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span."
The monkey said, "Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the dog did?"
And God, again saw it was good.
On the third day, God created the cow and said, "You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years."
The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?"
And God agreed it was good.
On the fourth day, God created humans and said, "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years."
But the human said, "Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?"
"Okay," said God, "You asked for it."
So that is why for our first twenty years, we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years, we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years, we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years, we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.
Life has now been explained to you. There is no need to thank me for this valuable information. I'm doing it as a public service.
If you are looking for me I will be on the front porch.
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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