SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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A golfer, now into his golden years, had a lifelong ambition to play the 17th hole at TPC Sawgrass in Ponte Verde, Fla. exactly the way the pros do it.
The pros drive the ball out over the water onto the small green that is on a small spit of land. It was something the golfer had tried hundreds of times without success. His ball had always fallen short, into the water.
Because of this, he never used a new ball on this particular hole. He always picked out one that had a cut or a nick, as did many other "average" golfers when negotiating very challenging holes.
Recently he went to Sawgrass to try again. When he came to the fateful hole, he teed up an old, cut ball as usual, and said a silent prayer.
However, before he could hit the ball, a powerful voice from above seemed to be booming out from the clouds, saying: "Wait! Replace that old ball with a brand new one."
The golfer complied, with some slight misgivings, despite the fact that this same force seemed to be implying that he was going to finally achieve his lifelong ambition. This could be 'divine guidance'.
As he stepped up to the tee once more, the voice came down again: "Wait. Step back. Take a practice swing."
So he stepped back and took a practice swing, certain now that this heavenly force was going to make his dream come true.
The voice boomed out again: "Take another practice swing."
Dutifully, he did. He stopped expectantly and waited ...
A long silence followed ...
Then the voice again: "Use the old ball."
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
|
|
A nun walks into Mother Superior's office and plunks down into a chair.
She lets out a sigh heavy with frustration.
'What troubles you, Sister?' asked the Mother Superior ..
'I thought this was the day you spent with your family.'
'It was,' sighed the Sister. 'And I went to play golf with my brother.
You know I was quite a talented golfer before I devoted my life to Christ.'
'I seem to recall that,' the Mother Superior agreed.
'So I take it your day of recreation was not relaxing?'
'Far from it,' snorted the Sister. 'In fact, I even took the Lord's name in vain today!'
'Goodness, Sister!' gasped the Mother Superior, astonished.
'You must tell me all about it!'
'Well, we were on the fifth tee...and this hole is a monster,
Mother Superior - 540 yard Par 5, with a nasty dog leg left and a hidden green...
.and I hit the drive of my life. I creamed it. The sweetest swing I ever made.
And it's flying straight and true, right along the line I wanted...and
it hits a bird in mid-flight !'
'Oh my!' commiserated the Mother. 'How unfortunate!
But surely that didn't make you blaspheme, Sister!'
'No, that wasn't it,' admitted Sister. 'While I was still trying to
fathom what had happened, this squirrel runs out of the woods,
grabs my ball and runs off down the fairway!'
'Oh, that would have made me blaspheme!' sympathized the Mother.
'But I didn't, Mother!' sobbed the Sister. 'And I was so proud of myself!
And while I was pondering whether this was a sign from God,
this hawk swoops out of the skyand grabs the squirrel and flies off,
with my ball still clutched in his paws!'
'So that's when you cursed,' said the Mother with a knowing smile.
'Nope, that wasn't it either,' cried the Sister, anguished, 'because as
the hawk started to fly out of sight, the squirrel started struggling,
and the hawk dropped him right there on the green, and the ball
popped out of his paws and rolled to about 18 inches from the cup!'
Mother Superior sat back in her chair, folded her arms across her chest,
fixed the Sister with a baleful stare and said...
'You missed the forkin' putt, didn't you?
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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