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Re: Flatulence And Other Bottom Of The Pyle Stuff [Re: Burrhead]
      #213266 - 02/02/11 01:57 PM

Duko's You Tube video...

What not To Do With Dynamite!

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Re: Flatulence And Other Bottom Of The Pyle Stuff [Re: SwampFox]
      #215094 - 03/18/11 09:52 AM

The Morning After

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Re: Flatulence And Other Bottom Of The Pyle Stuff [Re: SwampFox]
      #218064 - 05/17/11 07:31 PM

What is the difference between an epileptic corn farmer and a prostitute with diaharrea

The farmer shucks between fits

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Re: Flatulence And Other Bottom Of The Pyle Stuff [Re: SwampFox]
      #218582 - 05/25/11 03:54 PM

This one is killin me...

Armageddon

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Re: Flatulence And Other Bottom Of The Pyle Stuff [Re: SwampFox]
      #219125 - 06/07/11 12:56 PM

How poor wiping habits can ruin a wedding.

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Re: Flatulence And Other Bottom Of The Pyle Stuff [Re: SwampFox]
      #221574 - 08/25/11 06:29 PM

For Marines in Afghanistan: be careful where you fart

August 23rd, 2011 | Afghanistan | Posted by Gina Cavallaro

Marine Corps Times is a family newspaper and we only rarely have offensive language in our stories.

But this week the word “fart” appears in a story I wrote about the importance of trust between Marines and the Afghan national army soldiers they work with.

I didn’t want to write this little blog entry about farts. It’s not even on my beat. But my colleague Dan Lamothe, whose byline you have seen here quite often, shamed me into it.

“You owe it to all Marines,” he told me.

So here’s the news: audible farting has been banned for some Marines downrange because it offends the Afghans.

I know there are many things in the Afghan culture that don’t seem normal to Americans and it’s hard to spend seven months working in someone else’s back yard. Still, the Marines I saw downrange are doing a pretty good job at trying to do the right thing around the Afghans.

They’re not supposed to cuss because it could be misunderstood (that one goes out the window a lot). And they stay away from talking about politics, religion or girls because those topics could escalate into major disagreements (they can’t communicate anyway because of the language barrier).

But farting? That’s practically a sport. Ok, it’s not soccer, but a good contest could open the door for cross-cultural exchanges, jokes and other gallows humor.

So, for all Marines getting ready to go downwind, I mean downrange, be forewarned — you may have to hold it in… at least until you get back to your hooch where you can loudly crop dust your friends.

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Re: Flatulence And Other Bottom Of The Pyle Stuff [Re: SwampFox]
      #224734 - 12/07/11 08:47 PM

Did you know the first use of fuel/air bombs were by the Chinese who stuck bamboo up their asses and advanced on their enemies backwards. Each time the "fuel" ignited, it made a blinding flash of blue light at the burning end of the shaft. Scared hell out of their enemies but was discontinued for thousands of years due to the odor and unreliability of Chinese intestinal systems.

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Re: Flatulence And Other Bottom Of The Pyle Stuff [Re: SwampFox]
      #224999 - 12/15/11 02:05 AM



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Re: Flatulence And Other Bottom Of The Pyle Stuff [Re: SwampFox]
      #232119 - 09/16/12 04:01 PM



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Re: Flatulence And Other Bottom Of The Pyle Stuff [Re: SwampFox]
      #236555 - 03/04/13 07:33 PM



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Re: Flatulence And Other Bottom Of The Pyle Stuff [Re: SwampFox]
      #237072 - 04/01/13 09:11 PM



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Re: Flatulence And Other Bottom Of The Pyle Stuff [Re: SwampFox]
      #237127 - 04/03/13 08:59 PM

A Book Review: Gulp by Bee Wilson

t is one of the paradoxes of our culture that while food itself is an object of desire, the mechanics of eating—in the abstract, anyway—really gross us out. Chewing, salivating, and digesting, never mind excreting, are aspects of a meal we do our best to forget as we pore over photos of toast with ramp butter and quail’s eggs or slow-braised veal shank. We are in collective denial about what ingesting a meal really entails.

To a certain extent, this has always been true. Peter Greenaway’s 1989 film, The Cook, The Thief, His Wife and Her Lover, played on the fact that the comfort of middle-class life depends on keeping the pleasures of dinner well apart from its inescapable upshot in the bathroom. Thinking about digestion is a nasty appetite killer. But we are arguably more coy about the stomach than any previous generation. Our grandparents openly spoke of foods being “indigestible” or making them “bilious” if they ate too much of them. Now, we tend talk of the consequences of food only in terms of whether it will make us fat, ignoring the more pressing business of digestion. Public health officials perkily try to sell children on eating more vegetables “because of the vitamins” rather than telling them what really happens when they don’t eat their greens (around 30 percent of all American kids are constipated, going on estimates from dietetic pediatricians).

Mary Roach wants to redirect our attention away from the “clamor of cuisine” to the weird landscape of the alimentary canal. Her book is a bit like the old sci-fi classic Fantastic Voyage, where a miniaturized submarine goes on a mission through the inside of a human body. Roach has a fine line in quirky science writing, having previously looked at cadavers in Stiff and sex in Bonk. Her starting point in Gulp is cheekily to invert many of the assumptions of modern food writing. Eating, we have been loftily told by other writers, is about so much more than its chemical components. It is about culture, about tradition, about meals. Roach wittily flips this around. “Yes, men and women eat meals. But they also ingest nutrients. They grind and sculpt them into a moistened bolus that is delivered. … into a self-kneading sack of hydrochloric acid and then dumped into a tubular leach field, where it is converted into the most powerful taboo in history.”

Far from avoiding the grossness of digestion, Roach revels in it. Squeamish readers, be warned: There is TMI on every page. Roach leads us through the esophagus, the intestines, and the colon, giving us countless revolting but fascinating factoids along the way. You will discover that delicious food does not in fact make our mouths water (though nausea may) and that obese people surprisingly have the same stomach capacity as everyone else (they just eat more). Roach parses the “olfactory notes” of “noxious flatus,” the technical term for gas. If a fart smells of rotten eggs, this indicates the presence of hydrogen sulfide; if of rotten vegetables, it’s dimethyl sulfide. If you’ve ever wondered why some people complain of gassiness after beans, while others eat them with impunity, Roach has the answer. If you’ve never wondered, too bad; Roach is going to tell you anyway. Apparently, half of the population lack a certain enzyme in the colon that is needed to break down the complex carbohydrates in legumes. As a result, they are “troubled by beans.” When the colon inflates, releasing gas, it is a “warning system”: “Because stretching can be a prelude to bursting, your brain is highly motivated to let you know what’s happening down there.”

Roach, who is relentlessly fun to read—she even sees the humorous side in eating yourself to death—gives a graphic sense of what a brilliant and complex system human digestion really is. Take saliva. It is remarkable stuff, of which we generate two or three pints every day. Apart from its healing and cleaning properties—licking your wounds really is a good idea—saliva is part of the chemical engineering that enables us to eat. Spit dilutes acids, keeps the mouth clean and gets food into a state where we can swallow it. Roach speaks to a saliva expert, Erika Silletti, who marvels at the speed with which the brain tells the mouth to produce saliva when something is eaten. Because it contains amylase, an enzyme, saliva helps break down starches—such as bread—into digestible energy. “Add a drop of saliva to a spoonful of custard, and within seconds it pours like water.”

It turns out that while all saliva is pretty cool, it varies in potency and quantity from person to person. Art conservators have found that saliva is a great cleaning product for fragile paintwork and gold leaf, but not just anyone’s dribble will do. When Roach does a simple saliva test using a cotton wad, she is comic-dismayed to find that she is “a dried-up husk” in saliva terms. This theme of individual variation in our digestive powers recurs throughout the book. “The way you chew,” for example, “is as unique and consistent as the way you walk or fold your shirts. There are fast chewers and slow chewers, long chewers and short chewers, right-chewed people and left-chewed people.”

Maybe the ancients were on to something when they categorized human personality in terms of bodily fluids or “humours.” Our health and happiness—and consequently our behavior—is largely a function of our intestinal microflora. “Depending on who’s living in your gut,” writes Roach, you “may or may not benefit from what you eat.” Variation in colonic bacteria mean that some people derive goodness from the cancer-fighting properties of polyphenols—in some fruits and vegetables as well as coffee and red wine—while others do not. More dramatically, recent research—not mentioned in the book, perhaps because it is so new—indicates that the right gut microflora can protect against malnutrition. When given identical aid rations, one child flourishes and another starves.

Gulp’s compelling final chapter looks at the new medical intervention of the “fecal transplant” to treat patients with chronic gastrointestinal problems, pioneered by Dr. Alexander Khoruts in Minnesota. This is exactly what it sounds like. The sick patient is pumped with vials of a healthy person’s poop through a colonoscope. The procedure—unusual, as Roach notes, in being “effective, inexpensive and free of side effects”—has proved remarkably efficacious in curing severe cases of infection with Clostridium difficile. Yet at present “no US insurance company formally recognizes the procedure.” Roach suggests that this is partly because there are no pharmaceutical profits to be made from poop; but also the “ick factor.”

Roach finds it strange that “most of us pass our lives never once laying eyes on our organs, the most precious and amazing things we own.” But is it really so odd that we prefer to think of things other than colons? Gulp eloquently lays bare the secrets of the alimentary canal, but Roach’s obsession with the lavatorial (Can constipation offer sexual pleasure? And did it kill Elvis?) often seems as if it is missing the bigger picture about the human relationship with food. She quotes Khoruts on the subject of the gorillas, whose life, like that of so many animals, is dominated by digestion: “He’s processing leaves all day. ... There’s no room for great thoughts.” The great luxury of being a human being is that we have digestive systems so complex and efficient that most of the time we don’t have to think about them. So long as you don’t bring Gulp to the table, you are free to eat your dinner in a state of blissful denial.

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Re: Flatulence And Other Bottom Of The Pyle Stuff [Re: SwampFox]
      #237574 - 05/03/13 12:56 PM



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Re: Flatulence And Other Bottom Of The Pyle Stuff [Re: SwampFox]
      #237578 - 05/03/13 05:28 PM

Quote:

SwampFox said:








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Re: Flatulence And Other Bottom Of The Pyle Stuff [Re: wuchang]
      #237581 - 05/03/13 08:27 PM

True meaning to the title of this forum

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Re: Flatulence And Other Bottom Of The Pyle Stuff [Re: fish]
      #237586 - 05/04/13 01:04 AM

I think she has the vapors...

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Re: Flatulence And Other Bottom Of The Pyle Stuff [Re: SwampFox]
      #238216 - 06/15/13 05:14 PM

Bathroom Etiquette

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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."


Edited by SwampFox (06/15/13 05:15 PM)


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Re: Flatulence And Other Bottom Of The Pyle Stuff [Re: SwampFox]
      #238217 - 06/15/13 06:18 PM

My wife bought a pair of 'Meatloaf Underwear' yesterday.

On the front it says, "I Will do Anything For Love"

...and on the back it says, "but I Won't do That."

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Re: Flatulence And Other Bottom Of The Pyle Stuff [Re: SwampFox]
      #238218 - 06/15/13 06:43 PM

Quote:

SwampFox said:
My wife bought a pair of 'Meatloaf Underwear' yesterday.

On the front it says, "I Will do Anything For Love"

...and on the back it says, "but I Won't do That."




Now that's funny ........ No matter who you are


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Re: Flatulence And Other Bottom Of The Pyle Stuff [Re: wuchang]
      #238219 - 06/15/13 08:36 PM

Concur with Wu .....

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God Bless our Troops!


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Re: Flatulence And Other Bottom Of The Pyle Stuff [Re: Bubba]
      #238375 - 06/29/13 12:19 AM

How far would you go to get your IPhone back? (Video)

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Re: Flatulence And Other Bottom Of The Pyle Stuff [Re: SwampFox]
      #238377 - 06/29/13 01:22 AM



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Re: Flatulence And Other Bottom Of The Pyle Stuff [Re: SwampFox]
      #238384 - 06/29/13 12:07 PM

(Video) Family Guy

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Re: Flatulence And Other Bottom Of The Pyle Stuff [Re: SwampFox]
      #240273 - 10/06/13 11:25 PM

Stuff you can't make up...

Yale searches for 'poopatrater"

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Re: Flatulence And Other Bottom Of The Pyle Stuff [Re: SwampFox]
      #241110 - 11/25/13 12:35 AM

From the "Stuff You Can't Make Up" file.

The Ronson Writer

Husband Convicted Of Manslaughter After Dutch Oven Goes "Horribly Wrong"

Written by Nick Houldsworth TUESDAY, 30 OCTOBER 2007

Mr Brian Flannery was convicted of 2nd Degree Manslaughter today at Peckham Crown Court, receiving a 5 year suspended sentence for the accidental death of his wife, Gloria Flannery, by toxic suffocation, after he gave her a 'Dutch Oven' that went, as the Judge described it, 'horribly, horribly wrong'.
The case for the prosecution argued for the charge of Murder, putting it to the court that, late one weekday evening as Mrs Flannery was reading a Jackie Collins novel in bed and unwinding for sleep, she was suddenly and forcibly pinned under the duvet by Mr Flannery, who sealed the edges with his weight while simultaneously releasing an enormous bolus of flatulence, which displaced all the available oxygen so that Mrs Flannery passed out nearly instantly, and was dead within 30 seconds.

Arguing for the defence, Mr Cavendish QC, stated that Mr Flannery was deeply upset and regretful. The incident was intended as a light-hearted practical joke, indeed it was the first time Mr Flannery had even tried what is commonly known on the street as a 'Dutch Oven', and even then only after hearing some friends talking one evening in the pub after five-a-side football, about 'doing it' to their wives 'all the time'.

They argued that Mr Flannery had miscalculated two crucial factors which led to the tragic outcome. The first being Mrs Flannery's military tucking in of the 600 weight cotton sheets when she made the bed that morning, which created a near airtight seal . Secondly, Mr Flannery had neglected to remember that he had attended a long business lunch at an Indian restaurant on Brick Lane that day, at which he had consumed a dozen onion Bajees, eight Poppadom, six Samosas, and an extra large beef Vindaloo with garlic naan, all washed down with 8 pints of Guinness beer. The resulting trapped wind, which he released within a 6 inch proximity of Mrs Flannery's face, came in at around 6 litres gas of 95% methane by volume.

During sentencing, the judge, The Hon Dame Roberts, said, "I accept that you did not intend that your wife should die in this manner, and I note both your grief and regret, which is why I will suspend your sentence on the grounds of time already served. Nonetheless, the conviction remains, in the hope that you will be an example to other husbands and boyfriends across the UK, and a ray of light to their long suffering wives and girlfriends, that this frankly gross, and often dangerous practice can no longer be taken lightly, or risk facing such tragic consequences as you have."

Outside the court, an emotional and weary Mr Flannery said, "I am truly very sorry for what I did to my wife, and living with the guilt of what I done is punishment enough. I just hope that others will learn from my mistake. I swear, I will never, ever fart in a woman's face again. At least, not in private."

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