SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7973
Loc: Mid Mo
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My daughter is making hand sanitizer. Thought I’d try it. It tastes like 151 and coke.
-------------------- "Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7973
Loc: Mid Mo
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As we enter week 2 of the lock down I can't help but think of Osama Bin Laden.
Stuck in his house for 5 years with 3 wives.
I wonder if he called the Navy Seals himself?
-------------------- "Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
Edited by SwampFox (04/06/20 08:56 AM)
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7973
Loc: Mid Mo
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Doctor: Have you been drinking enough fluids?
Me: Doctor, Fluids are all I drink.
-------------------- "Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7973
Loc: Mid Mo
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Whoever said one person can't change the world never ate under cooked bat.
-------------------- "Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7973
Loc: Mid Mo
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The telephone rings, and the wife answers.
A pervert with heavy breathing, says, "I bet you have a tight bald ass."
Woman replies, "Yes, he's watching TV - whom shall I say is calling?"
-------------------- "Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7973
Loc: Mid Mo
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Quarantine day 7: Today I melted an ice cube with my mind. It took a lot longer than I expected.
-------------------- "Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7973
Loc: Mid Mo
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Of all the things I learned in grade school, avoiding cooties was the last one I expected to use.
-------------------- "Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7973
Loc: Mid Mo
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I'm finally grounded for all the things I got away with as a teen.
-------------------- "Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7973
Loc: Mid Mo
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I would ask how your weekend went but the term has becoming meaningless.
-------------------- "Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7973
Loc: Mid Mo
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Covid 19 tip: If you run out of food look for a house with a Vote Bernie sign. They don't own guns.
-------------------- "Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7973
Loc: Mid Mo
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Wife and I masked up and went to Sam's today. When we got back home and took the masks off it was not my wife.
-------------------- "Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7973
Loc: Mid Mo
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We are called essential because ceiling us sacrificial would be too honest.
-------------------- "Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7973
Loc: Mid Mo
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NUMBER TO REPORT NEIGHBORS GETTING FRESH AIR OR HUMAN CONNECTION
1(800) IMA-NAZI
-------------------- "Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7973
Loc: Mid Mo
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The Rapture has taken place. We were all left behind. Toilet paper shelves are empty because, "The roll was called up yonder".
-------------------- "Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7973
Loc: Mid Mo
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i have the most loving wife. Last night I woke to find her holding a pillow over my face to protect me from the virus.
-------------------- "Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7973
Loc: Mid Mo
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Hormel Foods made their first batch of spam in 1937. As a result of all the food hoarding they will make their second batch this week.
-------------------- "Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7973
Loc: Mid Mo
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I didn't buy a 2020 planner this year so I've got that going for me.
-------------------- "Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7973
Loc: Mid Mo
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As kids, the threat from quicksand and piranhas was exaggerated. Who knew the threat from cooties was real?
-------------------- "Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7973
Loc: Mid Mo
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Do you th9nk this quarantine can bring me down? I've been in the military. I can hurry up and wait forever.
-------------------- "Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7973
Loc: Mid Mo
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King Felipe VI has been quarantined to his jet. Now the reign of Spain stays mainly on the plane.
-------------------- "Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7973
Loc: Mid Mo
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I didn't know grandma had a gun until I coughed.
-------------------- "Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7973
Loc: Mid Mo
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The Power Ball is up to an 18 pack of Charmin.
-------------------- "Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7973
Loc: Mid Mo
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I wonder if all this is happening because
I didn't forward that letter to 10 other people?
-------------------- "Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
Edited by SwampFox (04/06/20 11:19 AM)
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7973
Loc: Mid Mo
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A dolphin just told me,"So long and thanks for all the fish." Does anyone know what that means?
-------------------- "Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7973
Loc: Mid Mo
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Suddenly having a mask, duct tape, rope and plastic sheeting in your trunk is normal.
-------------------- "Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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