Cafeoutdoors.com: Little Johnny learns construction

Little Johnny was acting up, driving his Mom crazy. Exasperated, his Mom suggests, "Johnny, why don't you go down the road where they're building a house? Maybe you'll learn something."

His Mother enjoyed a peaceful couple of hours until Johnny returned. Mom asked, "Well Johnny, did you learn anything today?" Johnny replied, "I learned how to hang a door!" Mom said, "Why don't you tell me about it?"

Johnny says, "Well, first you slap the fucker up. Goddamn cocksucker don't fit. Then you pull the sonofabitch down, shave a cunthair off this side, a cunthair off the other side, and slap it up again. Motherfucker fits perfect!"

Appalled, his Mother says, "Johnny! Go to you room and wait until your father gets home!"
When Dad gets home, Mom says, "Johnny's up in his room. You better go talk to him about what he told me today."

Dad goes upstairs and asks Johnny, "What did you tell your mother today?" Johnny replies, "I told her I learned how to hang a door." Dad says, "Can you tell me about it?"
Johnny: "Sure! First you slap the fucker up. Goddamn cocksucker don't fit. Then you pull the sonofabitch down, shave a cunthair off this side, a cunthair off the other side, and slap it up again. Motherfucker fits perfect!"

Outraged, Dad says "Johnny! That's completely inappropriate! Go out back and get me a switch!" to which Johnny replies, "Fuck that! That's the electrician's job!"