Cafeoutdoors.com: George the Mailman

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It was George the Mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of
carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood.
When he arrived at the first house on his route, he was greeted by the whole
family who congratulated him and sent him on his way with a tidy gift envelope.

At the second house, they presented him with a box of fine cigars. The
folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures.

At the fourth house, he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful
woman in a revealing negligee. She took him by the hand, gently led him through
the door, which she closed behind him, and took him up the stairs to the
bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever
experienced.

When he had enough, they went downstairs and she fixed him a giant breakfast:
eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and fresh-squeezed
orange juice. When he was truly satisfied, she poured him a cup of steaming
coffee. As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the
cup's bottom edge. "All this was just too wonderful for words," he said,
"But what's the dollar for?"

"Well," she said, "Last night, I told my husband that today would be
your last day, and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what
to give you. He said, 'Screw him. Give him a dollar.' The breakfast was my
idea."

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Our next presenter is the first woman to ever breast-feed an Apple - Gwyneth Paltrow.
-- Chris Rock