IIFID
Bond....Timmy Bond
Reged: 12/15/05
Posts: 8067
Loc: Nipawin, Saskatchewan
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It doesn't matter what party you belong to - this is hilarious. The following is from a show on Canadian TV. there was a black comedian who said he misses Bill Clinton.
"Yep, that's right - I miss Bill Clinton!
He was the closest thing we ever got to having a black man as President.
Number 1 - He played the sax.
Number 2 - He smoked weed.
Number 3 - He had his way with ugly white women.
Even now? Look at him... his wife works, and he don't! And, he gets a check from the government every month."
IN OTHER NEWS
Manufacturers announced today that they will be stocking America's shelves this week with "Clinton Soup," in honor of one of the nations' most distinguished men. It consists primarily of a weenie in hot water.
Chrysler Corporation is adding a new car to its line to honor Bill Clinton. The Dodge Drafter will be built in Canada.
When asked what he thought about foreign affairs, Clinton replied, "I don't know, I never had one."
The Clinton revised judicial oath:
"I solemnly swear to tell the truth as I know it,
the whole truth as I believe it to be,
and nothing but what I think you need to know."
Clinton will be recorded in history as the only President to do Hanky Panky between the Bushes."
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Thought for the day; “It’s impossible to think outside of the box when all you do is think about getting inside of the box.”
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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Four U.S. Presidents are caught in a tornado, and off they whirled to OZ.
They finally make it to the Emerald City and came before the Great Wizard.
"What brings you before the great wizard of Oz?"
Jimmy Carter stepped forward timidly: "I've come for some courage."
"No problem!" says the Wizard. "Who is next?"
Ronald Reagan steps forward, "Well........., I.......I think I need a heart."
"Done," says the Wizard.
"Who comes next before the great and powerful Oz?"
Up stepped George Bush sadly and said, "I'm told by the American people that I need a brain."
"No problem!" says the Wizard. "Consider it done."
There is a great silence in the hall. Bill Clinton is just standing there, looking around, but doesn't say a word.
Irritated, the Wizard finally asks, ?Well, what do you want?"
Bill says, ?Is Dorothy here??
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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Presiednt Clinton was looking for a call girl.
He found three such ladies in a local lounge - a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead.
To the blonde he said, "I am the President of the United States... How much would it cost me to spend some time with you?
The blonde replied, "Two hundred dollars."
To the brunette he posed the same question, and she replied, "One hundred dollars."
He then asked the redhead the same question.
The redhead replied, "Mr. President, if you can raise my skirt as high as my taxes... get my panties as low as my wages... get that thing of yours as hard as the times... keep it as high as the gas prices... keep me warmer than my apartment... and... screw me in private the way you do in public, then believe me Mr. President, it ain't gonna cost you a cent."
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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