Cafeoutdoors.com: Nookie Green

"Father, it has been one month since my last confession. I
have had sex with Nookie Green every week for the last month."
Nookie Green seems to be very popular with my male parishioners
the priest thinks.

Then, he tells the sinner, "You are forgiven.
Go out and say three Hail Mary's."

Soon, another man enters the confessional. "Father, it has been
two months since my last confession. I have had sex with Nookie
Green twice a week for the last two months."

This time the priest has to ask, "Who is Nookie Green?"
"A new woman in the neighborhood," the sinner replies.
"Very well," says the priest. "Go and say ten Hail Mary's."
The priest leaves the church wondering, who in the world is
Nookie Green?

The next morning in church the priest is preparing to deliver
his sermon, when suddenly a gorgeously tall woman enters. All the men's
eyes fall upon her as she slowly sashays up the aisle and sits down
right in front of the priest. Her dress is green and way too short, with matching
shiny emerald green shoes.

The priest and altar boy gasp as the woman in the matching green
shoes and dress sits with her legs slightly spread apart. The priest
turns to the altar boy and asks, "Is that Nookie Green?"

The alter boy's eyes are popping out of his head, as he
replies, "No, I think it's just the reflection off her shoes!"

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Our next presenter is the first woman to ever breast-feed an Apple - Gwyneth Paltrow.
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