LongRanger
member
Reged: 12/14/05
Posts: 115
Loc: NEMO
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Horse walks into the bar...bartender asks, "Why the long face?" 
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"My business is killin' ladies....and business is
good!" Major Benson Winifred Payne
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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A termite walks into a saloon and asks.....
Is the bartender here?
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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LongRanger
member
Reged: 12/14/05
Posts: 115
Loc: NEMO
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A priest, a po-lock and a blonde walk into a bar ....bartender says, "Is this a Joke?" 
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"My business is killin' ladies....and business is
good!" Major Benson Winifred Payne
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Nontypical
member
Reged: 12/16/05
Posts: 338
Loc: Mid Missouri
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A baby seal walks into a club.
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Idiocracy shouldn't be a direction!
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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A genie comes into a bar, looking very smug, and orders a drink.
The bartender said "You look pleased with yourself!"
"Yes", said the genie, "I just granted a guy a whish that I really liked."
"Sounds great, want to tell me?" said the bartender.
"Sure, he said he wanted to be happy ever after and never know he had met a genie."
"Now that is a very cleaver wish" said the bartender, "I am sure you get many stupid wishes but this one was nice."
"True" said the genie, "but the really clever part was my solution. I turned him into a Labrador Retriever."
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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bgbrdhntr
member
Reged: 12/14/05
Posts: 630
Loc: MO
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Skeleton walks into a bar and says "gimme a beer and ah mop"
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"ya'll take ah good look at this lump of chit, remember what it looks like"
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SwampFox
member
Reged: 12/13/05
Posts: 7970
Loc: Mid Mo
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Three guys at loose ends in a bar are sitting at a table and rating women as they walk in. The guys, of course, are using the familiar "1-10" system.
A cute brunette walks in. The guys agree that she rates a 7. The bartender happens to be wiping up at a nearby table (it's a small bar) and hears them. He glances over and says: " Nah, she'a 3 on the Budweiser system".
The guys are amazed and tell him she's a really attractive girl. The bartender shrugs and says:" That's how I see it'.
Next, a really interesting redhead walks in. The guys are unanimous that she rates a 9. Again, the bartender is nearby and hears them. He looks over and says:" I see her as a 5 on the Budweiser system".
The guys are astonished. "How can you say that? She's knock down, drag out gorgeous!" The bartender shrugs:" That's the way I see her under the Budweiser system".
Finally, a 5'11" blonde strolls in. The guys are unanimous that she is a 10. Again, the bartender looks over and pronounces: " I see her as a 6 under the Budweiser system".
The guys have had it. One guy says to the bartender: " What the hell is this Budweiser system?"
The bartender says: " The number of Clydesdales needed to pull me off her".
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"Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."
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