Posted on 06/11/2007 1:27:15 AM EDT by computermechanic
Giga-Farts, Global Warming & Gore
1. Since "global warming" is an new "science", we need to expand the way we measure it's sources & effects.
I propose the following new metric units to be used in global warming study:
MFz = MegaFarts = 1 Million liters of gas from a SC (Standard Cow)
GFz = GigaFarts = 1 Billion liters of gas from a SC (Standard Cow)
2. Since there are many more people in the world than cows, then beans in the human diet should be either banned or taxed. For example, a special flatulence fee would be added to your restaurant-dining bill if there were any bean products in the meal you ordered. This money then, would be used to purchase carbon-offsets. Billions of farts (GFz) could be kept out of the fragile global-warming eco-system.
All the taxes & fines collected should be sent straight to Al Gore's carbon-offsets companies, since only Al Gore has the needed knowledge of human and cow flatulence & the global warming wisdom to save the earth from certain doom.
Send all monies to this address:
Former Next President Al Gore Flatulence & Carbon Offsets Co. 1 Global Warming, The Only Way Washington, DC 00001-0001
-------------------- "Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck."