Cafeoutdoors.com: Stump Grinder

I?ve cut down allot of trees, and sawed and split allot of wood, but I?d never ground out stumps before. Whoever invented this machine needs to go back to the drawing board, or at least next time I need one two or three times the size of the one I rented.

I thought that the stump grinder would do most of the work for me, but after three huge stumps and about 12 hours of work I almost think that chewing it with a sharp chain saw would be easier. People with bad backs shouldn?t even think about trying to do this. I don?t know what the hell I was thinking.

It?s about $150 a stump to have the tree service do it, and the infernal machine costs about $100 to rent for the day. I figured I was saving about three fifty by doing it myself. It ain?t worth it.

I rented a 18hp job with a 6? blade. There was one in the catalog with a 30hp motor and a 12? blade (the forkers didn?t have that one though). If you are going to do this I do not recommend going with the smaller models, AT ALL. If the stump is any bigger than 12? forget doing it yourself with a small one. In fact, there is a very expensive remote controlled one that sits on the stump and actually does all the work, but I have a feeling that unless you?re doing more than six or seven in a day it?s cheaper to have someone else do it.

The dead man?s switch on the handle bites into your fingers and vibrates till your hands are so numb that your fingernails will hurt for days afterwards. One wheel has a hand break on it so that you can pivot the machine. After bout two hours, when there is a two foot pile of sawdust and dirt underneath the wheels, it the thing goes wherever the hell it want to, and you have to muscle it around like it didn?t have any wheels at all, or else stop every twenty minutes to clear out a patch to work in. If you take the second option don?t try to do more than one a day, because you will spend half your time clearing a new patch.

If the bastards that cut the tree down didn?t take it as close to the ground as possible it multiplies your work by about double per inch above the ground, and in my case the forker was so high that cutting blade wouldn?t even reach the top except from a single angle. It must have had some leveling switch in it, because it kept putting off when I tried to go from the top.

The blades on the cutting wheel got dull in a hurry, and by the time I was on stump three the sawdust had become so fine I may as well have been using a floor sander. That made it take triple the time of the first one. Another piece of advice, if you?re grinding multiple stumps take out the big one first, NOT last. By stump three I would have given up the secret formula just to make the torture stop. Please make it stop.

Muscling the machine into the SUV was also comical. My wife couldn?t even begin to lift one side of it, so she just held the handle in roughly the same place while I grabbed it by the front and got the blade into the back. The forker nailed my, already hurting, fingers every single time.

In short, I don?t think I?ve worked so hard in a day since I was tearing off caustic, pitch roofs. It?s way better than an axe, but then I wouldn?t try to chop three stumps in a day with an axe. I am a broken man. I can?t sleep. I can?t sit down, and I can?t stand up.

I?m sitting here with dark circles under my eyes seeing if my liver and kidneys can withstand ten times the recommended dosage of ibuprofen, naproxen, and aspirin. I could barely get out of bed on Sunday, and it?s twice as bad today. My back feels like I?ve been shined up by an angry mob.

I am thinking that the only relief may be found at the bottom of a bottle of Makers Mark. I?m thinking about picking up alcoholism.

For all you man?s men who never hire anyone to do anything, let my pain serve as a warning against stump grinding. If you ignore that, get a machine twice the size you think you need. Whatever money you save will not be worth it, I can assure you.

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"Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if they made a difference. The Marines don't have that problem." - President Ronald Reagan

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