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Mel
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Reged: 12/14/05
Posts: 6896
Loc: Excelsior Springs, MO

Re: Lawyer Jokes
      03/07/08 11:06 PM

Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.

In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grand-motherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?' She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.'

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?'

She again replied, 'Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.'

The defense attorney nearly died.

The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said,

'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair.'

--------------------
Member DU, Delta

Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names - John Kennedy

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Subject Posted by Posted on
* Lawyer And Politician Jokes PePaw 12/29/05 06:22 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes PePaw   12/29/05 06:24 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   12/29/05 09:04 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   10/23/06 05:32 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes Mel   10/24/06 11:43 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   11/03/06 04:59 AM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   11/08/06 07:38 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes IIFID   12/31/05 02:23 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes USMC Ret   01/01/06 12:36 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes Mel   01/01/06 10:53 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes IIFID   01/02/06 11:32 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes Original_Al   01/03/06 12:41 AM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes Baitrunner   01/05/06 10:49 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes USMC Ret   01/11/06 06:06 AM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   01/15/06 05:17 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes PePaw   01/21/06 10:11 AM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   01/24/06 04:46 AM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes Mel   01/24/06 07:48 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   01/27/06 01:40 AM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes Mel   01/13/09 07:31 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   01/30/09 03:15 AM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   02/02/09 01:55 AM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   02/05/09 07:31 AM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   02/27/09 04:05 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   03/05/09 04:11 AM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   05/30/09 03:40 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   06/25/09 01:21 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   12/28/09 04:19 AM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   07/03/10 03:44 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   08/14/12 10:21 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   12/14/12 08:02 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   12/15/12 11:16 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   12/15/12 11:19 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   12/15/12 11:21 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   01/11/13 10:12 AM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   01/11/13 10:13 AM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   07/14/13 08:10 AM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes Mel   07/15/13 02:17 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   11/06/14 05:38 AM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   09/07/19 12:56 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes Mel   03/07/08 11:06 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   06/14/08 05:25 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes 67Firebird   06/14/08 07:46 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   06/15/08 11:26 AM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes Mel   02/22/08 01:28 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes Mel   01/23/08 04:28 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes Uncle_Bill   01/30/08 07:34 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes Mel   07/28/07 11:52 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   08/30/07 10:41 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes MB2   09/17/07 12:34 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   09/18/07 12:09 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   01/12/08 05:57 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   01/18/08 01:16 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes Mel   06/22/07 01:19 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   06/22/07 03:02 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   07/24/07 09:37 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   02/15/07 03:07 AM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   02/24/07 07:28 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   03/10/07 04:26 AM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   03/20/07 11:32 AM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   04/13/07 04:07 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   04/25/07 12:17 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   06/03/07 05:11 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   08/24/08 06:27 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   08/26/08 08:51 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   08/27/08 06:13 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   08/27/08 06:14 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes Mel   08/28/08 01:52 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   09/09/08 03:30 AM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   11/29/08 10:16 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   12/04/08 06:26 AM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   12/07/08 04:58 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes Mel   06/03/07 07:41 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   06/19/07 08:26 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes Mel   10/18/06 03:08 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes Mel   09/21/06 01:16 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   09/22/06 01:26 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   09/23/06 02:13 AM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   09/27/06 10:33 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   01/07/07 07:49 AM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes Mel   01/07/07 11:40 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   01/18/07 09:29 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes Mel   01/18/07 09:58 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   02/05/07 04:01 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   02/07/07 10:39 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   02/08/07 02:14 AM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   02/08/07 09:42 AM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   02/14/07 01:09 AM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   01/04/07 09:45 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   12/25/06 06:34 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   01/01/07 07:19 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   12/17/06 07:34 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes Mel   09/19/06 01:54 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   01/31/06 06:49 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   02/01/06 02:52 AM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   10/01/06 04:25 AM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   10/12/06 05:38 AM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   10/13/06 04:34 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   10/17/06 08:48 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   02/11/06 10:30 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   02/17/06 01:34 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   02/17/06 01:42 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   06/08/06 07:28 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   06/20/06 05:13 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes Mel   06/20/06 08:39 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   07/11/06 09:52 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes SwampFoxModerator   09/18/06 08:10 PM
. * * Re: Lawyer Jokes Mel   01/27/06 04:15 PM

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