On Senior Citizens day they had a quiz which I lost by two points. The question, "Where do women mostly have curly hair?" Apparently, the correct answer was Africa.
One of the other questions was name two things commonly found in cells. It appears that Negroes and Mexicans is not the correct answer either.
I've heard that Apple have scrapped their plans for the new children's iPod after realizing that iTouch Kids is not a good product name.
My wife told me I was no longer romantic, so I booked a table for the two of us on Valentine's Night. Problem was, she sucks at snooker and eight-ball.
There's a new Muslim clothing shop opened in our shopping center, but I've been banned from it after asking to look at some bomber jackets.
You can say lots of bad things about pedophiles but at least they drive slowly past schools.
A biker goes to the doctor with hearing problems. "Can you describe the symptoms to me?" asked the doctor. "Yes. Homer is a fat yellow lazy bastage and Marge is a skinny broad with big blue hair."
Just put a deposit down on a brand new Porsche and mentioned it on Facebook. I said, "I can't wait for the new 911 to arrive!" Next thing I know, 4000 Muslims added me as a friend!
Being a modest man, when I checked into my hotel on a recent trip, I said to the lady at the registration desk, "I hope the porn channel in my room is disabled." To which she replied, "No, it's regular porn, you sick bastage."
The CIA has discovered how to weave Muslim prayer mats out of plastic explosives. Apparently prophets are going through the roof!
The Red Cross have just knocked at our door and asked if we could help towards the floods in Pakistan. I said we would love to, but our garden hose only reaches the driveway.
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