A guy gets a
call from the police telling him that his house was robbed. The offenders had
also consumed all of his beer and had raped his wife. A moment of silence passes
and the guy says, "I can't believe they forked my wife after only five
beers!"
______________________________________________
Got this text
from my brother recently. It read. "Can I stay at your house for a while? The
ol' Lady kicked me out after she caught me measuring my dick. ....
It just reaches the back of her sister's throat!"
______________________________________________
I was banging this nice Lady over her kitchen table when we heard the front door open. She
said, "It's my husband! Quick, try the back door!" Thinking back, I really
should have ran - but you don't get offers like that every day.
_____________________________________________
Sorry for not
calling you on New Years, I just got out of jail. I got locked up for punching
the fork out of this idiot at a party.
In my defense…when you hear an Arab
counting down from 10, your instincts kick in.
____________________________________________________
My wife just came in and said,
"I don't know if I am coming or going.
"I said to her, "Judging by the look on your face, you're going - 'cus
when you're coming, you look like a forking Down Syndrome kid trying to
whistle!"
____________________________________________________
I saw a
fortune teller the other day.
She told me I would come into some
money.Last night I forked a girl called Penny - is that spooky or what?
_____________________________________________________
The missus asked me, "When you're on a boys only trip away, do you think about me?" .... Apparently "Only to stop myself from coming too quickly" wasn't the right answer.
_______________________________________________________________
Some guy just knocked on my door selling raffle tickets for poor black orphans. I said, "fork that - knowing my luck, I'd win one!"
____________________________________________________
What's the difference between an illegal Mexican and ET? ET looked
better, smelled better, learned English, didn't claim benefits, had his own
forking bike, and wanted to go home.
duko
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